Priority

"Superwoman" - Paulini

I wanted to go to bed early tonight. My DVDs kept skipping and there wasn't anything good on TV. I didn't want to write because nothing was coming to mind and I hate having to sit in front of my computer with a blank slate. It's tiring and can often come off forced. And to top it off, the back of my throat is a little itchy, which only means that I'm coming down with something. So, why through all this mess did I decide to stay up once again to stare at my bright screen in an attempt to write? All the tossing and turning and soon-to-be sickness I'm going to have to suffer through made me think of this old 80's song, originally sang by Karyn White. But let me tell you why...

I remember very vividly the last time I got extremely sick. It was right around this time, about a year ago and a week or so before a big training (which coincidentally enough I'm facilitating the same training next week). I was away from home for 5 full days and knew I couldn't back down without jeopardizing my job. My voice came and went, I couldn't breathe, let alone stand up straight, and continued to drug myself to the point of hallucinating that I thought I'd never get well. But I couldn't let my teammate down so with everything I had in me, everyday I'd push on and did what I had to do. So, you're probably thinking, "Oh, this is why she picked Superwoman." Well, actually no.

Here's the other half to this story. I wasn't too far away for a certain someone to take care of me. Technically, in a way it would be taking care of them because it was closer to where they needed to be on a daily basis. Regardless, the weekend before the training I asked for a little TLC. Sadly, they had other plans. They always did. I was in terrible shape and couldn't believe that after a week or so of this horrible sickness, they were apparently too busy. What was the reason, you ask? A random birthday party a week too late for someone that didn't need to worry about whether or not they'd come through for them. They always came through...just rarely for me.

Can I blame them? No, because I understand the importance of family celebrations. But did it hurt me? It still hurts. Did they know it? Everyday since then. What stings the most is that I know for a fact that this was not a difficult choice to make. I knew even before I asked that I'd continue to take care of myself. Hence, Superwoman.

It hit me like a ton of bricks that no matter how hard I tried, I was definitely not a priority for them to do the same in return. They're just not wired that way. The sad thing is I know without a doubt that they knew if the table was turned, they'd have everything they ever wanted and needed. They always did. They still do...even if they ask for milk to treat a sour stomach.

Lyrics:

Early in the morning
I put breakfast at your table
And make sure that your coffee
Has its sugar and cream

Your eggs are over easy
Your toast done lightly
All that's missing is your morning kiss
That used to greet me

Now you say the juice is sour
It used to be so sweet
And I can't help but to wonder
If you're talking 'bout me

We don't talk the way we used to talk
It's hurtin' so deep
I've got my pride, I will not cry
But it's makin' me weak

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me, ooh, baby

I fought my way through the rush hour
Trying to make it home just for you
I want to make sure that your dinner
Will be waiting for you

But when you get there you just tell me
You're not hungry at all
You said you'd rather read the paper
And you don't want to talk

You like to think that I'm just crazy
When I say that you changed
I'm convinced I know the problem
You don't love me the same

You're just going through the motions
And you're not being fair
I've got my pride, I will not cry
Still I can't help but care

I'm not your superwoman (Oh, no, no)
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human (I'm only human)
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay (Don't let me down, don't you let me down)
Boy, I am only human (I'm only human, yeah)
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me

Oh, baby, look into the corners of your mind
I'll always be there for you through good and bad times
But I can't be that superwoman that you want me to be
I'll give my everlasting love if you'll return love to me

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human (I'm only human)
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me (Oh, no)

If you feel it in your heart
And you understand me
Stop right where you are
Everybody sing along with me

I'm the kind of girl that can treat you so sweet
But you got to realize that you got to be sweeter to me

I need love
I need just your love

I'm not your superwoman (Oh, no)
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down (You can let down)
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human (I'm only human)
This girl needs more than occasional (Hey, hey, hey, hey)
Hugs as a token of love from you to me

I'm not your superwoman

http://www.lyricsmania.com/superwoman_lyrics_paulini.html
http://barrysouthgate.com/discography/