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Stings

"Home Ain't Where His Heart Is" - Shania Twain

It's been a busy week. It was hard to get up early on this rainy Saturday morning to go to work, but I had to do it. I had to do a lot of things regardless of what I wanted. What a dramatic change of pace from a mere week ago. I've been moving so rapidly during these last 6 days that of course in the process, shit inevitably happens. The good thing is it's been manageable and I've been so exhausted by the time I get into bed that falling asleep no longer takes ions to do. The tough thing is that every night since I came back from NC I've been dreaming of you. Or should I refer to this as a nightmare now that I no longer have you? Ugh...the sting of LA just won't quit. It hurts just as much as this canker sore I got way in the back of my inner cheek. Ugh...

Even if you're not curious, I'll tell you anyway.

The first night my dream took such a toll on me beyond what I ever thought a dream ever could do, even for me. Picture the craziness of running from one side of the family to the other to celebrate a single holiday (this part I'm sure you won't miss this year). Well, fast forward a few years later. Your family decided to celebrate in a restaurant we often visited. I just happened to be in the area and decided to grab a bite to eat with a few friends of my own. I didn't figure I'd run into you there on such an occasion. I figured it was safe. I figured wrong. As I was leaving, you were just arriving but we didn't see each other. I just saw a smaller version of you running towards me with open arms. As if I haven't been gone at all. This time I didn't have to squat down to hug him so I just held him. You turned to face us and I swear I heard your heart drop as mine did in his arms. I woke up quietly sobbing to myself. How I wish I could hug him. It was 5am and I was wide awake.

The other dreams that followed didn't make me react in the same manner. I forget, if you can believe that, all the details... only that you were in it and time had passed since I saw you last. I laugh silently as I think back because although what was said and the visual images of it leaves me, I remember the feeling. It was a tingly feeling deep in my chest that only happens on either of two extremes: infatuation or heartbreak. I laugh because there's nothing much I can do about it and I'd rather not cry anymore.

I just thought you should know that even if we are no longer a "we" and I'm getting better as we move farther away from where I thought we were once headed, it sneaks up on me and still stings.

Lyrics:

He knew how to reach me deep inside
And he found a part of me I could not hide
And we'd walk and talk and touch tenderly
Then he'd lay me down and make love to me

We built a love so strong and couldn't break
There was not a road we were afraid to take
And we'd kiss all the way from Arkansas to Rome
'Cause in each other's arms we were home sweet home

But he don't feel the same
Since our lives became
Years of bills, babies and chains

Home ain't where his heart is anymore
He may hang his hat behind our bedroom door
But he don't lay his head down to love me like before
Home ain't where his heart is anymore

If foundations made of stone can turn to dust
Then the hardest hearts of steel can turn to rust
If he could only find that feeling once again
If we could only change the way the story ends

And he may still come home
But I live here alone
The love that built these walls is gone

Home ain't where his heart is anymore
He may hang his hat behind our bedroom door
But he don't lay his head down to love me like before

He don't lay his head down to love me like before
Home ain't where his heart is anymore
No, home ain't where his heart is


http://www.lyricsmania.com/home_aint_where_his_heart_is_anymore_lyrics_shania_twain.html
http://smokeys-trail.com/Sound/addictive-t-love.html

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