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By Myself

"Dancing with Myself" - Billy Idol

Yesterday after work I was going to meet a friend at a new cafe in Eagle Rock, which is not too far from my office. I had a choice. I could either drive all the way home for a mere 15 minutes of peace or stick it out for a little over an hour by myself. I hate being by myself. But... it just didn't make any sense to drive around in a circle when I was already right there. I know this sounds petty, but for people who know me this is far from it.

I enjoy company. I take long lunches because of it. I rearrange my schedule for it. I'd inconvenience myself all the time if it meant having someone interesting to talk to. Otherwise, you'd see me sitting in front of my computer, eating out of a Tupperware in less than 10-minutes flat. I'm pretty quick if I eat alone because I find it completely and utterly boring. So, you'd think by now it's quite obvious what my choice would be. My head kept telling me, "Just go home." This would've been the only time that I'd throw common sense out the window, but I knew I still had a choice. I knew that once I made it down the hill, I could either go left for home or veer right and see what happens. I took a right.

Then I thought, "What would I do to kill time?" I didn't want to waste my gas driving around since the whole point was to save it, but I didn't want to look pathetic walking around all alone either. And then I thought, "Well, who's looking?" Suddenly, I remembered my friend telling me there's a Target around the corner. For some reason this place is a safe haven to me. I love it here (well, before they turned it into a supermarket Target). There's just something about having everything I need in one specific spot (minus the groceries) that excites me. And I knew that if I could do this, I could definitely do this here.

I pushed the red shopping cart through the aisles and looked around. I heard couples arguing, saw kids running around, and employees frustrated at all the mess they'd have to clean up. And then I saw other people just like me and noticed a big difference. They didn't look upset or sad for being on their own. They actually looked productive, taking their time with their lists and weighing out the pros and cons with each of their items before placing them into their cart. They were content being by themselves.

Suddenly, I realized that I was doing alright hanging with me and I'm actually pretty good company. I didn't make fun of myself for being a cheapskate in the clearance rack. I didn't roll my eyes at myself for taking too long picking one brand over the other to see if it was even worth the price. I didn't rush myself as I tried on clothes, sometimes more than once just to be sure they actually fit me right. I danced around in the dressing room for as long as I wanted to because I wasn't on anyone else's time, but my own. I guess you could say I learned something new that day. I learned that it's ok to be alone.

Lyrics:

On the floor of Tokyo
Or down in London town to go, go
With the record selection
And the mirror's reflection
I'm dancing with myself

When there's no-one else in sight
In the crowded lonely night
Well I wait so long
For my love vibration
And I'm dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove
I'll be dancing with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove
I'll be dancing with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance

[Scat]

Dancing with myself
Dancing with myself
Dancing with myself
Dancing with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance


http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/billyidol/dancingwithmyself.html
http://www.indierockcafe.com/2010/11/sunday-25-mix-vol-one-wiretree-cheap-trick-billy-idol-wilco-neutral-milk-hotel-brian-eno/

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