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Rain or Shine

"Say Something" - A Great Big World

I deleted two posts in my drafts folder.  Just yesterday afternoon, I started and stopped on this post about three times.  The rain was hard that morning, so much so that the front of my dark blue jeans was soaked from merely walking one full block to work.  I didn't stop for coffee.  I couldn't bring myself to pull into my usual place since so many things right now seem so out of place.  I had a concept for a good story and lost it completely, but this time it was different because I meant to.  I chose instead to be like the rain.  I'll pour as much as possible onto you, Dear Blog and we'll see where I end up.

I'm in love with this song.  It's been on repeat and I know I'll never tire from it.  There are a few songs like that with me and they are all sad so I know by default that I'm right with this one.  Everything about it sends a familiar feeling within me to the surface and it's becoming more and more difficult to shake.  I heard it in the background at first.  The piano caught my attention immediately (no surprise, I'm sure).  It was faint over the noise in the car, but it quieted down long enough for me to hear the last line and I knew I'd find it again or it will find me.  All I could remember was the band had the word "world" in it and that didn't help much with the search.  So I remembered the radio station and looked it up.  After a list of songs it replayed over and over again (all of which I can't stand...again, no surprise I'm sure), I saw "Say Something."  I kinda laughed in the inside and said, "No, you say something."  But I scrolled up and down, passing it on purpose just to see if anything else was worth clicking on.  I made a few failed attempts before going back to it.  Then the piano started and my heart ached and I knew I found it.   

A lot is going on in the world, in this neighborhood where I work, and even within what has been my home for the last year.  The rain was supposed to come in by Monday, but it didn't really fall until late Tuesday night.  The puddles grew larger and the wind blew stronger, tugging at my umbrella that at one point, I thought I'd lose it forever.  A small hole in the bottom of my right boot proved to be detrimental to my shivering foot, but as I walked I couldn't help but notice others around me shivering too...attempting to stay just a little bit drier than my soaked sock.  They were hiding under doorways and vacant parts of any building that offered some shelter overhead.  Tightly tucked away in tattered sleeping bags and torn blankets just inches from a river of water slowly rising from the clogged sewage drains in its path.  Streams of dirt, leaves, trash and other random debris flooded the streets as people and cars ran across it.  People like me who had somewhere else to go...somewhere else to be than here along this drenched sidewalk where the stench of wet rags filled the air and a sudden sadness loomed over the homeless where for at least one night this was a place they would call, "Home."

While waiting at a traffic light, I saw one man lying down over a flattened cardboard box.  A single light spilled over him and the orange hue against his skin made it look like...at least for a second, that he was glowing.  He had no shirt on and was covered from the waist down.   I hurried through the crosswalk and stopped for a moment to gain control of my umbrella.  When I looked back at him, he was sitting up towards the light.  As I slowly walked passed him, his head was tilted back and his eyes were closed.  The beads of rain trapped in his shaggy beard reflected off the light and it seemed to sparkle. 

It was there underneath my shaky umbrella that I witnessed a man use what little light he had to warm him...and it was I who suddenly felt so cold.   

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