"Miss Misery" - Elliot Smith
This song will always resonate of you. And no, this isn't a compliment.
Every now and then I dream of you. Sometimes you're just a passerby and we pay no mind to each other. Most of the time though, you're with me. We would be fighting, crying, yelling... (I'm used to this kind of dream), but within the last month we've been apart, trying to get back together again. And yes, if you're curious, I'm the one initiating how we would work things out for the nth time. It was never you. I didn't want to write about it because it hurt too much to wake up only to realize that this is the reality of it. I didn't want to spend more time thinking about it when it's already effecting my sleep. But this one particular dream I had was definitely a wake up call.
We've been broken up for at least a year and said our casual "hellos." We asked about family, friends, and your little one. Everyone was fine, everyone but us. You looked the same as I last saw you, but I no longer had the right to touch you in the way I remembered. I asked you if you missed me. You made no eye contact, rubbed the back of your neck, and didn't answer. I started to kick at the loose gravel below, feeling like an idiot, and wishing I never asked the question. I tried to play it off like it didn't hurt and was turning to walk away when you took my hand, cupped it in both of yours and said, "With everything I am."
I asked if we should try again. There was an awkward silence. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to myself, but I asked anyway. You definitely made eye contact here and I will never forget what you said. You said, "If we do this, then I don't want to do anything different than what I'm doing now. I don't want to be someone I'm not for you. I don't want to work at anything because a relationship shouldn't be work. I don't want to try. I just want to be."
All of a sudden, we were sitting on my parent's couch in my parent's living room. My feet were stretched out over your lap as you held the remote control (just like old times). My parents came home and it would be the first time you've seen them since we called it off. They stood in the kitchen a little baffled as you walked over to try to explain yourself. I stayed on the couch, watching TV, and wondering if we just threw ourselves back into the same cycle that would lead us to nowhere.
I woke up relieved that none of this actually happened. Not because I'm necessarily "over" you (I don't even know what that means), but because I thought what you had to say was utter crap. When you're with someone, you compliment them. You love them, excite them, stand by their side no matter what, take care of each other, and work together to build a life you both want. You don't have to be something you're not because that person will love you for who you are as long as there's no lies, no secrets, and no bullsh*t.
Lyrics:
I'll fake it through the day
With some help from Johnny Walker Red
Send the poison brain down the drain
To put bad thoughts in my head
Your two tickets torn in half
And a lot of nothing to do
Do you miss me, Miss Misery
Like you say you do?
A man in the park
Read the lines in my hand
Told me I'm strong
Hardly ever wrong I said man you mean
You had plans for both of us
That involved a trip out of town
To a place I've seen in a magazine
That you left lying around
I don't have you with me
But I keep a good attitude
Do you miss me, Miss Misery
Like you say you do?
I know you'd rather see me gone
Than to see me the way that I am
But I am in the life anyway
Next door the TV's flashing
Blue frames on the wall
It's a comedy of errors, you see
It's about taking a fall
To vanish into oblivion
Is easy to do
And I try to be but you know me
I come back when you want me to
Do you miss me, Miss Misery
Like you say you do?
http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/55621/
http://indymusic.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/elliott-smiths-roman-candle-from-a-basement-on-the-hill-on-krs-free-unreleased-mp3/
This song will always resonate of you. And no, this isn't a compliment. Every now and then I dream of you. Sometimes you're just a passerby and we pay no mind to each other. Most of the time though, you're with me. We would be fighting, crying, yelling... (I'm used to this kind of dream), but within the last month we've been apart, trying to get back together again. And yes, if you're curious, I'm the one initiating how we would work things out for the nth time. It was never you. I didn't want to write about it because it hurt too much to wake up only to realize that this is the reality of it. I didn't want to spend more time thinking about it when it's already effecting my sleep. But this one particular dream I had was definitely a wake up call.
We've been broken up for at least a year and said our casual "hellos." We asked about family, friends, and your little one. Everyone was fine, everyone but us. You looked the same as I last saw you, but I no longer had the right to touch you in the way I remembered. I asked you if you missed me. You made no eye contact, rubbed the back of your neck, and didn't answer. I started to kick at the loose gravel below, feeling like an idiot, and wishing I never asked the question. I tried to play it off like it didn't hurt and was turning to walk away when you took my hand, cupped it in both of yours and said, "With everything I am."
I asked if we should try again. There was an awkward silence. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to myself, but I asked anyway. You definitely made eye contact here and I will never forget what you said. You said, "If we do this, then I don't want to do anything different than what I'm doing now. I don't want to be someone I'm not for you. I don't want to work at anything because a relationship shouldn't be work. I don't want to try. I just want to be."
All of a sudden, we were sitting on my parent's couch in my parent's living room. My feet were stretched out over your lap as you held the remote control (just like old times). My parents came home and it would be the first time you've seen them since we called it off. They stood in the kitchen a little baffled as you walked over to try to explain yourself. I stayed on the couch, watching TV, and wondering if we just threw ourselves back into the same cycle that would lead us to nowhere.
I woke up relieved that none of this actually happened. Not because I'm necessarily "over" you (I don't even know what that means), but because I thought what you had to say was utter crap. When you're with someone, you compliment them. You love them, excite them, stand by their side no matter what, take care of each other, and work together to build a life you both want. You don't have to be something you're not because that person will love you for who you are as long as there's no lies, no secrets, and no bullsh*t.
Lyrics:
I'll fake it through the day
With some help from Johnny Walker Red
Send the poison brain down the drain
To put bad thoughts in my head
Your two tickets torn in half
And a lot of nothing to do
Do you miss me, Miss Misery
Like you say you do?
A man in the park
Read the lines in my hand
Told me I'm strong
Hardly ever wrong I said man you mean
You had plans for both of us
That involved a trip out of town
To a place I've seen in a magazine
That you left lying around
I don't have you with me
But I keep a good attitude
Do you miss me, Miss Misery
Like you say you do?
I know you'd rather see me gone
Than to see me the way that I am
But I am in the life anyway
Next door the TV's flashing
Blue frames on the wall
It's a comedy of errors, you see
It's about taking a fall
To vanish into oblivion
Is easy to do
And I try to be but you know me
I come back when you want me to
Do you miss me, Miss Misery
Like you say you do?
http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/55621/
http://indymusic.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/elliott-smiths-roman-candle-from-a-basement-on-the-hill-on-krs-free-unreleased-mp3/
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