"Falling Slowly" - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
I'm sitting over a pile of the last 10 years of my life. Old bills, paystubs, receipts, tax returns, print-outs and paperwork that no longer serve a purpose. They've been stuffed into olive green filing folders, crammed into a tiny drawer dying to be taken out, shredded and put to rest. I let them rot away because I just didn't have the energy to rummage through them. I figured if I didn't see it, I wouldn't have to deal with it. Well, it's time to clean house.
I don't want to sweat the small stuff because it would obviously kill me and this isn't what a day off should be about. I'm going to sort through this quickly. I know which ones to immediately throw away. Anything with Beneficial, Capital One, and Coldwell Banker written on them must go. I can't stare at it anymore. I don't want to remember what that life was supposed to be and how it was taken from me so easily. Sigh, I just found a receipt from 2003. I need to learn how to let go faster than this.
This is becoming a ridiculous obsession of mine. I wait until I can't wait anymore and then overwhelm myself with too much history. From now on I will only take on the present. I will be ok with tossing a receipt for $0.99 when I paid cash and already ate what I bought. I will be ok to tell the Starbucks barista that they can save the trees since my drink of choice will soon be a distant memory by the time I leave their premises. I will attempt to balance my checkbook. I can't just splurge anymore. Funds need to come back in and stay there. Trips are at stake and good times lie ahead and I can't be broke to enjoy them!
5 hours later...
I created 3 separate piles: (1) Keep, (2) Discard and (3) Should've been discarded a long ass time ago! And then I took a break because my back hurt and I needed a fix. I went to my 2 favorite places (Target and Starbucks) and decided that I'll start my saving spree tomorrow. For now I needed a toaster (I over-toasted a Pop-tart) and some caffeine. Half-way through my blueberry muffin and upside-down Caramel Machiato, this song started to play. It struck a chord in me even though I knew it didn't come along with any significant memory.
So now I'm back home. Unsure of the piles I created. Unsure of what I consider trash. Unsure of everything. But I know myself too well. I'll combine it all, toss them out and start from scratch.
Lyrics:
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
http://www.lyricstime.com/the-swell-season-falling-slowly-lyrics.html
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20166133,00.html
I'm sitting over a pile of the last 10 years of my life. Old bills, paystubs, receipts, tax returns, print-outs and paperwork that no longer serve a purpose. They've been stuffed into olive green filing folders, crammed into a tiny drawer dying to be taken out, shredded and put to rest. I let them rot away because I just didn't have the energy to rummage through them. I figured if I didn't see it, I wouldn't have to deal with it. Well, it's time to clean house.
I don't want to sweat the small stuff because it would obviously kill me and this isn't what a day off should be about. I'm going to sort through this quickly. I know which ones to immediately throw away. Anything with Beneficial, Capital One, and Coldwell Banker written on them must go. I can't stare at it anymore. I don't want to remember what that life was supposed to be and how it was taken from me so easily. Sigh, I just found a receipt from 2003. I need to learn how to let go faster than this.
This is becoming a ridiculous obsession of mine. I wait until I can't wait anymore and then overwhelm myself with too much history. From now on I will only take on the present. I will be ok with tossing a receipt for $0.99 when I paid cash and already ate what I bought. I will be ok to tell the Starbucks barista that they can save the trees since my drink of choice will soon be a distant memory by the time I leave their premises. I will attempt to balance my checkbook. I can't just splurge anymore. Funds need to come back in and stay there. Trips are at stake and good times lie ahead and I can't be broke to enjoy them!
5 hours later...
I created 3 separate piles: (1) Keep, (2) Discard and (3) Should've been discarded a long ass time ago! And then I took a break because my back hurt and I needed a fix. I went to my 2 favorite places (Target and Starbucks) and decided that I'll start my saving spree tomorrow. For now I needed a toaster (I over-toasted a Pop-tart) and some caffeine. Half-way through my blueberry muffin and upside-down Caramel Machiato, this song started to play. It struck a chord in me even though I knew it didn't come along with any significant memory.
So now I'm back home. Unsure of the piles I created. Unsure of what I consider trash. Unsure of everything. But I know myself too well. I'll combine it all, toss them out and start from scratch.
Lyrics:
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
http://www.lyricstime.com/the-swell-season-falling-slowly-lyrics.html
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20166133,00.html
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