A Bed of Songs & Stories

"Make It Home" - Juliana Hatfield This is officially my 200th song on BedSongStory so I had to make it a good one. Something that hits close to home without being about anyone in particular. I wanted it to be a Tagalog song to make it more challenging for people to figure out, but obviously playlist isn't quite that fluent yet. So I flashed back to the past and skimmed through sentimental love songs and classic rock ballads, but there's just too much to choose from and I don't feel like getting overwhelmed. So, I put that on pause and sprang back into the future playing a few popular songs, but I hear it too much on the radio as it is and knew soon enough I'd regret giving it more attention. I scanned You Tube, Amazon, and Google searching through a few of my favorite soundtracks: Practical Magic, Waiting to Exhale, Chicago, Forrest Gump, Dirty Dancing ...and then I remembered the movie, The Craft . More witches, magic, and mayhem. My kinda genre. So, I sorted...

"Your House" - Jimmy Eat World It's been 6 months and a day... What a way to break out of my shell then to return to the one place I never thought I'd ever be in again. I don't want to over think what I do anymore, even though I'm analyzing this very statement in my head as I continue typing. When I drove up the familiar street, it hit me. What the hell was I doing here?! But then I let that feeling subside and thought, it must be for a reason and whatever that reason is, it has to be better than where I've been. So, I pulled out a 12-pack of Victoria from the trunk of my car and walked up the driveway. Things looked so different as I approached the front door. The yard was full of trees. The whole set-up changed all around me. It amazes me just how fast time flies. And although there's no more granola on the walls, there was still a lingering sense of how things used to be and I don't know, it wasn't bad. It wasn't bad at all. Lyrics: W...

"Sweet Dreams" - Emily Browning I am my own worst critic and the movie Sucker Punch , sadly did not change this by any means. I knew going in that this was going to be all for fun, but I had hoped that there would've been some time spent on characterization. We got a gist of one girl's story, but there are 5 of them. We saw plenty of things in slow motion, but yet we didn't get to see "the dance" that did it all. It was like a teaser. Tempting us for more, but leaving us completely unsatisfied. However, I have to say regardless of its close-minded portrayal of babes in battle, the one thing that I can't deny is how music plays a crucial (in this case, main) role in movies (see trailer below). Emily did an amazing remake so I had to take a moment to give Zack Snyder props for using songs like hers to tell his story. He has the ability to pack a lot of punch in a soundtrack, but a memorable movie must have an impactful story and be more than ju...

"Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" - The Smiths For some reason, "Jack the Ripper" found me...but I'm ignoring him right now. I may have clicked on him by accident, but lately with all the editing I had to do on playlist it definitely caught me off guard to see him buried under so many songs. But no, I can't give him too much of my attention again. That's just asking for trouble even if I may be dancing too close to fire as it is. So I intentionally lost him; however I did find this song. And it was too beautiful to pass up. So here's this for now. Lyrics: Good times for a change See, the luck I've had Can make a good man Turn bad So please please please Let me, let me, let me Let me get what I want This time Haven't had a dream in a long time See, the life I've had Can make a good man bad So for once in my life Let me get what I want Lord knows, it would be the first time Lord knows, it would be the first time http://www.ly...

"Down on Me" - Jeremiah feat. 50 Cent I just got my first ever evaluation on being "too vulgar" while conducting my trainings. Here's the thing. I teach people how to talk to complete strangers about sex, drugs, alcohol, and all the other taboo sh*t they probably won't even tell their most intimate friends. I teach people to be open, honest, and out-right. I teach people to stay neutral no matter what kinda sh*t they might hear because it's not about them. It's about the person they're trying to help. I teach people to keep their biases to themselves and by holding off on their own judgments, they'll be able to hear more stories and get through to anyone no matter where they come from and what they believe in. So f@$k being politically correct. If you speak to someone at their level and meet them where they're at, then they may have a clearer understanding of the complicated sh*t that's still out there; the sh*t we're still battli...

"Two Wrongs" - Wyclef Jean feat. Claudette My heater broke a few nights ago. It just sorta conked out on me. Guess that's been the case for me lately. It's when I need something the most that it falls apart and stops working. So what does this have to do with this song? Well, let's just say it makes me feel warm. And I need that tonight. I've been needing it. I usually don't mind the cold, but it hit me hard today and wouldn't go away. I love the rain, but it's not so fun at the crack of dawn when the sun barely peeked it's head out of the clouds and the thick fog just sat on top of it all. And here I am, stuck in a new place for the next 4 days, and trying to make it feel like "home." Sadly, the welcome hasn't been very welcoming. It still surprises me just how inconsiderate people can be; even more so when I try to accommodate them and I'm supposed to be the "guest." I don't work well with restrictions and abs...

"Feelin' This" - Blink 182 Sigh, my playlist is full. It can only hold a maximum of 200 songs and apparently, I reached this limit with my last heartbreaking post. Yet, when I pulled it up I realized I only had 189 songs listed. Hmmm...I know stuff's been deleted beyond my control, but 11 in one weekend?! Wtf...Ugh...Sadly, I was only able to salvage 4 of them; 7 still wanted to stay gone. So, I'm back to using more "..." for now. This bullsh*t leaves me trailing for the right words... Funny that because of this loss I actually made room for this amazing song from what I consider the best Blink 182 album ever and definitely a song to add onto my life soundtrack. Most boys would probably disagree with me because they prefer Blink running butt-naked and acting like fools. No surprise, but c'mon I'm a woman. And if you ever want to strike the right chord in my heart, you'd play a song like this and let it take care of itself. It's a...

"I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do." - Smokey I've always been curious, but every time I'd ask people how it feels no one would be able to give me a straight answer except, "You'll know." Let me just say that things don't always go as planned and in my case, it's when I least expect it that stuff just happens. I'm realizing more and more just how limitless life can be (and no I'm not high as I write this). I tend to please others and put myself second to ensure they're taken care of so needless to say, it's been an interesting ride for me to just do things for me. A last minute dinner plan with friends turned into a late night experiment on letting myself go! And damn, did I ever. You wanna know what it feels like? I mean, really wanna know? It feels exactly like every story you've ever he...

"Dreaming My Dream" - The Cranberries Damn... This is what I wanted to write about early yesterday morning (before the unfortunate distraction). It's a day late, but I'm never on time anyway. I've been sleeping before my curfew (2:00 am). In bed by 12:30 and knocked out by 1:00, but now I just wake up at 5 on the dot. This is definitely unusual territory for me. It's not like I get all the way up and do jumping jacks or even roll out of bed. I'm just lying there, thinking, and irritated that I'm not sleeping. And on Tuesday I woke up feeling extremely sad over yet another dream. You weren't in it. At least I didn't see you...but for some reason I was at your house. I talked to your dad a bit and he was so distraught. He said no one had been home for a while and so there was no one to take care of Sabrina. She passed away in three days because of it. I sat on the wooden floor by his side trying to console him. Your sister came in shortly thereaf...

"Never Leave Me Alone" - Nate Dogg 5:35 pm... I was so distracted this morning that all I could do was post a video and try to work, but I knew I had to write something about why this has made such an impact on me. I was driving to work today and decided to give my iPod a rest. I usually hate the radio, but Power 106 was playing all the ol' skool gangsta rap I loved growing up. Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Warren G., Korupt, Ice Cube, Nate Dogg, etc... But then I thought, "Wait a minute, they never play sh*t like this anymore unless...ok ok who passed away this time?" I was hoping to be wrong, but nowadays it's hard to listen to great stuff on the radio because music just isn't the same. It's catchy, but kinda stupid. And if it's any good, they play it out so much it starts to sound bad. So you can't blame a gal for thinking the worst case scenario and sadly, I was right. Nate Dogg passed away late last night. I heard he suffered a few strok...

"Man in the Mirror" - Michael Jackson I dedicate this to the chaos that's been happening all around us. It's this mind-boggling disaster in Japan these last few days that made me stop long enough to shut the f@$k up about my own problems and just be grateful. Here's a country that suffered a earth-shattering 9.0 quake, a merciless tsunami, volcanic eruptions, nuclear explosions and radiation exposure. Who in their right mind could prepare for such a disaster? Even with advanced technology, there's no way anyone could overcome the wrath of Mother Nature. When she came down, she came with a vengeance. Watching video after video on You Tube and Facebook only made it even harder to bear because all we could do was watch. This had to just run its course and Japan being the 3rd largest economy, was almost wiped out completely. So, here we are again. Trying to make sense of it all, hoping to put the pieces back together. I hate the news, but it's times like these...

"1, 2, 3, 4" - Plain White T's I chose to take a breather for the weekend and yet this song still won't leave me. So to spend my last break of the day today (3-14), I decided to give it some attention. It's kinda funny because before cell phones, I carried around a pager and my first bf used to page "314" to me to say he loved me. He figured everyone knew "143" meant "I love you" so he wanted to stand out a bit by switching the numbers around. This was his "code" and I picked today of all days to write about it even though it's been in my head since Saturday. I guess when I'm stuck in a room full of screaming kids, loud games, and Chuck E. Cheese on stage singing this back to back every 15-minutes it's hard to forget! Luckily, it made the other noise bearable. The best part of such a crazy night is now I picture my little niece, wearing an inflatable crown that won't fit her head, dancing around and singing ...

"Do Re Mi" - Sound of Music I dedicate this to you, my precious Goobers. You give new meaning to this day and I thank you for being you. It's your day. It will always be your day. And for your 2nd birthday I wish for you to grow stronger, be happier, live louder, and discover the world as only you can: with tremendous curiosity and excitement that I wish would rub off on all of us who forgot how to dream. "Dance like no one's watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like no one's listening, And live like it's heaven on earth." Lyrics: Let's start at the very beginning A very good place to start When you read you begin with A-B-C When you sing you begin with do-re-mi Do-re-mi, do-re-mi The first three notes just happen to be Do-re-mi, do-re-mi Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti Doe, a deer, a female deer Ray, a drop of golden sun Me, a name I call myself Far, a long, long way to run Sew, a needle pulling thread La, a note to follow Sew Tea, a drink wi...

"Cannonball" - Damien Rice A single minute to midnight. To get even. Even-steven. Get a box. A good-sized box. And put the following things in it: My journal. Mama's t-shirt. My DVDs. A Rascal Flatt's concert ticket. A fitted gray Lakers t-shirt. A box of See's blueberry truffles. A spa-getaway package. A trip to Solvang. Strangers in Paradise Volumes 4, 5, etc. A bouquet of tulips. A brand new "All About Me" book. A finished scrapbook. Two precious little ones. Consideration. Appreciation. My house. My heart. My sleep. All the promises you were supposed to keep. That'd be even. That'd be about square. Lyrics: Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt Still a little hard to say what's going on Still a little bit of your ghost you witness Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed You step a little closer EACH DAY That I can't say what's going on Stones taught me to fly Love t...

"Shine" - Laura Marling http://readersrecommend.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html

"One of Us" - Joan Osborne I've been thinking about religion a lot lately. Not that I, all of a sudden, want to be born again or that I could even commit to going to church every Sunday. I never considered myself to be religious by any means. I know I don't have what it takes to finish this process because I would question most of it before I believe in all of it. Hence, why I'm in my 30's and still can't eat the circular bread (aka "the hosts," and yes I had to Google it). I haven't earned the right to do so and I've accepted that, but does that make me less than? Coming from a family that truly feels this is something I should've done, it's kinda awkward that I somehow fell out of the loop and into what's known as "polytheism" (believing in more than one God or being). Just because I have respect for it, doesn't necessarily mean I wholeheartedly get it. I barely understand Catholicism and I've been s...

"I Touch Myself" - The Divinyls This is my definition of sexy: To use your imagination and think about someone so fine that they can excite you with just the thought of them. To men, it's called the "wet dream." To women, it's all about the touch. This is one of those naughty songs you can't help, but love. The great thing is there's nothing wrong with it. It's good, clean, fun. And if you want something done, you just gotta do it yourself! So sit back, relax, and enjoy. Hopefully, you know what you're doing ;). Lyrics: I love myself I want you to love me When I feel down I want you above me I search myself I want you to find me I forget myself I want you to remind me I don't want anybody else When I think about you I touch myself Ooh I don't want anybody else Oh no, oh no, oh no You're the one who makes me come running You're the sun who makes me shine When you're around I'm always laughing I want to make you mine I ...

"Tempted" - Squeeze This song has been following me everywhere. At the mall going up the escalator, at a clothing store in the dressing room, at a coffeehouse, and now tonight at a restaurant enjoying my passionfruit iced tea. So, song I finally got the hint. You're up. This reminds me of Winona Ryder and Janeane Garofulo in Reality Bites . The scene where they're cruising in her dad's BMW right before Ben Stiller smashes into them. Ah, this movie is a true gem to me. Winona takes us on a trip full of coffee, cigarettes, GAP clothes, and Big Gulps. A journey of questions and trying to find the answers using a psychic friend's hotline and a single gas card. It's all about finding yourself even though you don't even know who the hell "you" really are. You think you did the right thing by putting so much effort into getting a good education only to be completely lost in the real world. Regardless if you go to school or not, you still need a sen...

"It Must Have Been Love" - Roxette I woke up this morning unsure of what was in store for the day. I almost thought I was late for work! I love it when I'm wrong in this case. So, without an agenda in mind I curled back up inside my covers and let the a.m. turn into p.m. The sun came up and is now making it's way down again. It looks like it's about to rain (crossing fingers). The best kinda weather to stay home. There was nothing much to watch on TV so I skimmed through the channels and fell onto the last few scenes of Pretty Woman . Being somewhat of a feminist it's hard to admit that I love this film, but I do. I couldn't figure out what all the hype was about back when it was released in the early 90's. It seems I was "too young to understand." All I knew was it was a popular romantic comedy about a man who rescues a woman from living a difficult lifestyle. I figured it was just another story and filed it away as something I probably woul...

"Fade Into You" - Mazzy Star I came home early tonight without anything to do. Too early to party, but too late to run errands. I was restless, but I didn't want to ruin such a mellow Friday evening thinking too much into things. I hate it when I'm in this kind of mood and the people in my life happen to be in no mood at all to entertain me. Everyone wanted to chill, sleep, and lay low. After 3 attempts to get someone up and off their butts, I was about to call it quits when my sis and her bf popped their heads in my room to see what I was up to. I didn't really feel like being a "3rd wheel," but it's different with family. Dinner and a movie? Sure, why not? At least with them I could keep my sweats and tennies on and eat like no one's watching. This song played as we were about to make a right down Colorado Blvd. and it was at that point, I was happy I got out of the house. Lyrics: I wanna hold the hand inside you I wanna take the breath that...

"Video" - India Arie I took a mental health day. I'm learning more and more how much of a necessity it is to put myself first before all else. Work will always be there when I get back, but I have to understand that I don't live to work. I can't. It'll destroy me and I've been "destroyed" enough for one year. So I decided to work at something that would make me happy. I spent a day with my baby sis trying to get on the Ellen show. We knew being on "standby," there was a strong possibility that we wouldn't get in, but we took a shot at it anyway. My college professor once told me, "You don't know what could've been if you don't show up." So, we showed up. It's Ellen for Pete's sake! I find her to be an amazingly inspiring woman. Full of energy, humor, and light, it's hard not to be drawn to her. And I knew even for a moment, I needed some of that light. We arrived at 2PM along with a million other p...

"Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime" - Beck I'm starting a bit earlier than usual dear Blog, but something hit me when I went out to my car. The rain. It surprised me and made me feel a little melancholy. It's funny how strong the weather can impact a mood. I watched it for a bit and then went back inside. I started looking around my room at the different movie posters I just don't have the heart (or the room) to take down and one stuck out in particular, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind . I was so blown away by this film the very first time I saw it. I haven't actually watched it all the way through since that time. Maybe it was too magical a moment for me to duplicate. Maybe I already knew what to expect and this is the kinda movie you gotta watch without knowing what's going to happen next. Sometimes I wish life could be like a movie... so I could fast-forward through the bad parts. so I could get to the good stuff and replay it over and over aga...

"Die Alone" - Ingrid Michaelson I stumbled upon this song and fell for it immediately. I wanted to give you something to mark the 1st of this month. So, here's my something for now. Lyrics: I woke up this morning, a funny taste in my head. Spackled some butter over my whole grain bread. Something tastes different, maybe it's my tongue. Something tastes different, suddenly I'm not so young. I'm just a stranger, even to myself. A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf. Don't be a fool girl, tell him you love him. Don't be a fool girl, you're not above him. I never thought I could love anyone but myself. Now I know I can't love anyone but you. You make me think that maybe I won't die alone. Maybe I won't die alone. Kiss the boys as they walk by, call me their baby. But little do they know, I'm just a maybe. Maybe my baby will be the one to leave me sore. Maybe my baby will settle the score. I never thought I could love anyone but mys...