"I'm Not Calling You A Liar" - Florence & the Machine
I needed to unwind in the worst way today. The house was scorching and so was my temper. And it bothered me even more because it ruined this awesome high I've been on for the last couple of weeks. I pulled off my clothes and turned on the cold shower. This had to be diffused quickly. I wrapped my hair up and squeezed a good portion of Stress Relief onto my loofah, but the more I scrubbed the more irritated I got (and no, it wasn't from the scrubbing). Rather than trying to relax, all I managed to do was rethink all the reasons why I was so damn pissed. And the more I thought, the more the cold water got hot.
I stepped out and dried off in a hurry, checking to see if the green light on my phone was blinking. Nope. Nothing. Bullsh*t. I pressed the towel against my face and screamed hoping it was thick enough to mute my rage. I stared at my flushed cheeks in the mirror and realized I needed to get my eyebrows waxed.
My hair color was once again fading and for some odd reason a dumb bug decided to bite me right under my chin. This is the time of year when everything bites me in places I never knew one could get bit. On my knee, under my knee, my elbow, the upper part of my right boob, my lower back, and on the right side of my hips. I've just about had enough! I wanted to sit on top of the toilet seat to cry, but it's so flimsy now since we changed it during the remodeling that I had to just stand there and deal with it. I grabbed my Stress Relief bottle from the bathtub and started to wipe it clean. I turned it over to the label on the back. Just below the instructions and above the ingredients it read, "Breathe in deeply for best results." So I did just that and instantly, felt better.
I wasn't fuming because of you and your lame excuse for why you didn't pick up the phone. It wasn't because I had to check in with you on your news. It wasn't even because that horribly familiar clusterf@$k of a feeling I get when I feel like you're lying to me (which you often do) came back to haunt me. No, it wasn't that at all...although it didn't help either. I was upset over the fact that two friends (that I thought were truly my friends) decided to give me a reason to de-friend them. I love, trust, and rely on my immediate family and have extended some of this to a few of my closest friends and at one time even to you. But sadly, I had to cut this short list even shorter. I believe in this: Do for me what I would do for you...but this isn't always the case now is it?
I trusted my friend to take care of something for me; Something that definitely didn't concern him and he probably had no business in doing, but he was the only link to helping me possibly get this done. It was petty and maybe not even necessary, but I didn't think it would hurt to ask. So I did. This was almost 3-months ago, but I guess you could learn a lot about a person's true character in this time frame. It wasn't a hard task. All he had to do was communicate, but this has proven to be a challenge with many people in my life. The greatest lesson learned out of this whole situation.
Without getting into excruciatingly annoying detail, nothing came out of it in the end. He said he would do something that he couldn't do and then he proceeded to wash his hands from it like it was no longer his problem. He was caught in the middle of this crap, but unfortunately "there was nothing more he could do." What aggravated me wasn't the initial task anymore. It was how he handled it. It showed me that I couldn't depend on him in the same way I knew he could depend on me. Regardless of it all, I wasn't looking for a fight. I saw no reason to blow this up any further. I simply wanted to let things subside. He would still be a "friend," but just not the friend I originally thought he could be. I'm not holding a grudge. I'm simply telling the truth.
I wanted time to cool off. No drama. No arguments. No he said/he said crap. Just time. But here's where I made my second stupid mistake. I trusted (damn this word!) a mutual friend of ours by telling him I was "mad," but I failed to say just at the moment. I didn't say why or for how long. I just said that sometimes some things change for the worst. Here's the kicker. Not even a full day goes by before this supposed "friend" of mine opened his big mouth to spill out what very little he knew about this whole thing. So, what did I get? I get a random text and no response when I attempt to call either of them. NO f@$kin' response. This was my Wednesday in a nutshell: vague text messages, unanswered calls and extreme lack of communication.
I'm beyond over this sh*t. I don't need to chase any of you. You want to contact me, go right ahead. All of you should've done this in the first place, but you never really do what you're supposed to do, do you? I've been in the same green house on the same corner for the last few years. I have a working phone and will make time because it's what I do for a friend. Make f@$kin' time. Oh, and by the way I will ANSWER an actual attempt for a meaningful conversation. So have at it because I'm done. I'm so done. I need a new word for DONE.
Lyrics:
I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me
I'm not calling you a thief, just don't steal from me
I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me
And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me
There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep
Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks with my legs
To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet
There but for the grace of God go I
And when you kiss me, I am happy enough to die
I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me
And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you (kill me)
I'm not calling you a thief, just don't (don't lie so much)
And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you
I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop
There's a ghost in my mouth and it talks in my sleep
Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks, then it walks with my legs
To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall
To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall
To fall, to fall at your feet
There but for the grace of God go I
And when you kiss me, I am happy enough
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/florencethemachine/imnotcallingyoualiar.html
http://razorbabe.blogspot.com/2011/04/friday-im-in-lovewith-florence-machine.html
http://www.thebraggingmommy.com/2009/10/16/bath-and-body-works-aromatherapy-stress-relief-review/
I needed to unwind in the worst way today. The house was scorching and so was my temper. And it bothered me even more because it ruined this awesome high I've been on for the last couple of weeks. I pulled off my clothes and turned on the cold shower. This had to be diffused quickly. I wrapped my hair up and squeezed a good portion of Stress Relief onto my loofah, but the more I scrubbed the more irritated I got (and no, it wasn't from the scrubbing). Rather than trying to relax, all I managed to do was rethink all the reasons why I was so damn pissed. And the more I thought, the more the cold water got hot.
I stepped out and dried off in a hurry, checking to see if the green light on my phone was blinking. Nope. Nothing. Bullsh*t. I pressed the towel against my face and screamed hoping it was thick enough to mute my rage. I stared at my flushed cheeks in the mirror and realized I needed to get my eyebrows waxed.
My hair color was once again fading and for some odd reason a dumb bug decided to bite me right under my chin. This is the time of year when everything bites me in places I never knew one could get bit. On my knee, under my knee, my elbow, the upper part of my right boob, my lower back, and on the right side of my hips. I've just about had enough! I wanted to sit on top of the toilet seat to cry, but it's so flimsy now since we changed it during the remodeling that I had to just stand there and deal with it. I grabbed my Stress Relief bottle from the bathtub and started to wipe it clean. I turned it over to the label on the back. Just below the instructions and above the ingredients it read, "Breathe in deeply for best results." So I did just that and instantly, felt better.I wasn't fuming because of you and your lame excuse for why you didn't pick up the phone. It wasn't because I had to check in with you on your news. It wasn't even because that horribly familiar clusterf@$k of a feeling I get when I feel like you're lying to me (which you often do) came back to haunt me. No, it wasn't that at all...although it didn't help either. I was upset over the fact that two friends (that I thought were truly my friends) decided to give me a reason to de-friend them. I love, trust, and rely on my immediate family and have extended some of this to a few of my closest friends and at one time even to you. But sadly, I had to cut this short list even shorter. I believe in this: Do for me what I would do for you...but this isn't always the case now is it?
I trusted my friend to take care of something for me; Something that definitely didn't concern him and he probably had no business in doing, but he was the only link to helping me possibly get this done. It was petty and maybe not even necessary, but I didn't think it would hurt to ask. So I did. This was almost 3-months ago, but I guess you could learn a lot about a person's true character in this time frame. It wasn't a hard task. All he had to do was communicate, but this has proven to be a challenge with many people in my life. The greatest lesson learned out of this whole situation.
Without getting into excruciatingly annoying detail, nothing came out of it in the end. He said he would do something that he couldn't do and then he proceeded to wash his hands from it like it was no longer his problem. He was caught in the middle of this crap, but unfortunately "there was nothing more he could do." What aggravated me wasn't the initial task anymore. It was how he handled it. It showed me that I couldn't depend on him in the same way I knew he could depend on me. Regardless of it all, I wasn't looking for a fight. I saw no reason to blow this up any further. I simply wanted to let things subside. He would still be a "friend," but just not the friend I originally thought he could be. I'm not holding a grudge. I'm simply telling the truth.
I wanted time to cool off. No drama. No arguments. No he said/he said crap. Just time. But here's where I made my second stupid mistake. I trusted (damn this word!) a mutual friend of ours by telling him I was "mad," but I failed to say just at the moment. I didn't say why or for how long. I just said that sometimes some things change for the worst. Here's the kicker. Not even a full day goes by before this supposed "friend" of mine opened his big mouth to spill out what very little he knew about this whole thing. So, what did I get? I get a random text and no response when I attempt to call either of them. NO f@$kin' response. This was my Wednesday in a nutshell: vague text messages, unanswered calls and extreme lack of communication.
I'm beyond over this sh*t. I don't need to chase any of you. You want to contact me, go right ahead. All of you should've done this in the first place, but you never really do what you're supposed to do, do you? I've been in the same green house on the same corner for the last few years. I have a working phone and will make time because it's what I do for a friend. Make f@$kin' time. Oh, and by the way I will ANSWER an actual attempt for a meaningful conversation. So have at it because I'm done. I'm so done. I need a new word for DONE.
Lyrics:
I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me
I'm not calling you a thief, just don't steal from me
I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me
And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me
There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleepWraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks with my legs
To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet
There but for the grace of God go I
And when you kiss me, I am happy enough to die
I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me
And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you (kill me)
I'm not calling you a thief, just don't (don't lie so much)
And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you
I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop
There's a ghost in my mouth and it talks in my sleep
Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks, then it walks with my legs
To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall
To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall
To fall, to fall at your feet
There but for the grace of God go I
And when you kiss me, I am happy enough
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/florencethemachine/imnotcallingyoualiar.html
http://razorbabe.blogspot.com/2011/04/friday-im-in-lovewith-florence-machine.html
http://www.thebraggingmommy.com/2009/10/16/bath-and-body-works-aromatherapy-stress-relief-review/
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