"Lighters" - Eminem feat. Bruno Mars & Royce Da 5'9"
I disappeared on purpose. I wasn't running away. I just didn't want to be here and risk letting my heart beat out my common sense. Not again. Not after all that's happened. And it was good to be in a place where no one judged me; where sins are smiled upon and where I'd probably stick out like a sore thumb if I tried to follow the rules when there really isn't any. Not to say that I "let myself go" (I think you did enough of that for the both of us), but to let go of what I can no longer change.
During my mini-journey, this song played constantly. I heard it way before it came on the radio, but it came at me with a vengeance this weekend. It didn't hurt to hear it so I surrendered to it and allowed the chorus to take over me. I felt the white flag drape over my mind and cleanse me. And when it was lifted, I came to my senses.
I kept thinking about how terribly awful these last 12-months have been for me. I kept focusing on what was taken away: my best friend, my "kids," my "gaysian" bff, my potential house, my LOML... that I really haven't focused on all the things that I've actually accomplished within this time. I know I've blogged about a few of them and reflected on how I've grown as a person (even though it took me nearly 3 decades to get here)...but I never really sat down with myself and said, "Damn girl, you did good."
I tried new things, new drinks, and new places. I let myself leave work and not go straight home just to see where I would end up. I danced more than I've ever danced in my life. I laugh at dumb movies. I gave my time and energy to travel, making new friends, and actually being happy during Happy Hour. I actually go to Happy Hour. I went to events I never thought I'd go to, saw things I never thought I'd see and made the best of even the most awful situations to learn how to deal with my own fears. I didn't change who I am to please anyone. If a friend wasn't really a friend, I cut them off. If a guy wasn't worth all of me, I let him go. I maintained this blog. I kept a green plant alive in my office. I'm handling a program that requires up to 3 people all by myself and it's running smoothly. I'm realizing how much I like what I do and how proud I am for doing it well (even if the people above me can still go to Hell). I spend my money on myself and don't get carried away spending it on people and things that don't matter. I do what I want when I want and with whomever I want to do it with because I can. We can only control our own self-control. And I'm definitely doing a damn good job.
Lyrics:
This one's for you and me, livin out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes
And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters
A sky full of lighters
By the time you hear this I will have already spiralled up
I would never do nothing to let you cowards f@$k my world up
If I was you, I would duck, or get struck like lightening,
Fighters keep fighting, put your lighters up, point em' skyward uh
Had a dream I was king, I woke up, still king...
This rap game's n*pple is mine for the milking,
Till nobody else even f@$king feels me, till' it kills me
I swear to god I'll be the f@$king illest in this music
There is or there ever will be, disagree?
Feel free, but from now on I'm refusing to ever give up
Only thing I ever gave up's using, no more excuses
Excuse me if my head is too big for this building
And pardon me if I'm a c@cky pr*ck but you c@cks are slick
Poppin sh*t on how you flipped ya life around, crock-o-sh*t
Who you d*cks tryna kid, flipped d*ck, you did opposite
You stayed the same, cause "c@ck" backwards is still "c@ck" you pr*cks
I love it when I tell em shove it
Cause it wasn't that long ago when Marshall sat, busted 'Lac, lustered
Cuz he couldn't cut mustard, muster up nothing
Brain fuzzy, cause he's buzzin', woke up from that buzz
And now you wonder why he does it, how he does it
Wasn't cause he had buzzards circle around his head
Waiting for him to drop dead, was it?
Or was it, cause them b*tches wrote him off
Little hussy a$$, guzzards f@$k it, guess it doesn't matter now, does it
What difference it make?
What's it take to get it through your thick skulls
That this ain't some bullsh*t
People don't usually come back this way
From a place that was dark as I was in
Just to get to this place
Now let these words be like a switch blade to a haters rib cage
And let it be known from this day forward
I wanna just say thanks cause your hate is what gave me the strength
So let em bic's raise cause I came with 5'9; but I feel like I'm
6'8;
This one's for you and me, living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes
And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters
A sky full of lighters
By the time you hear this I'll probably already be outtie
I advance like going from toting iron to going and buying 4 or 5 of the
Homies the iron man Audi
My daddy told me slow down, boy, you goin to blow it
And I ain't gotta stop the beat a minute
To tell Shady I love him the same way that he did Dr Dre on the Chronic
Tell him how real he is or how high I am
Or how I would kill for him for him to know it
I cried plenty tears, my daddy got a bad back
So it's only right that I right till he can march right into that post
Office and tell em to hang it up
Now his career's Lebron's jersey in 20 years
I'll stop when I'm at the very top
You sh*tted on me on your way up
It's 'bout to be a scary drop
Cause what goes up must come down
You going down on something you don't wanna see like a hairy box
Every hour, happy hour now
Life is wacky now
Used to have to eat the cat to get the pu$$y
Now I'm just the cats meooww, ow
Classic cow, always down for the catch weight like Pacquiao
Ya'll are doomed
I remember when T-Pain ain't wanna work with me
My car starts itself, parks itself and autotunes
Cause now I'm in the Aston
I went from having my city locked up
To getting treated like Kwame Kilpatrick
And now I'm fantastic
Compared to a weed high
And y'all n*gg@s just gossipin' like b*tches on a radio and TV
See me, we fly
Y'all buggin out like Wendy Williams staring at a bee-hive
And how real is that
I remember signing my first deal and now I'm the second best I can deal
With that
Now Bruno can show his a$$, without the MTV awards gag
You and I know what it's like to be kicked down
Forced to fight
But tonight we're alright
So hold up your light
Let it shine
Cause this one's for you and me, living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes
And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters
A sky full of lighters
http://www.azlyricdb.com/lyrics/Eminem-Lighters-313348
http://popcrush.com/eminem-royce-da-59-bruno-mars-lighters-video/
http://weheartit.com/tag/lighters
http://www.flickr.com/photos/karinasl/6070983248/
I disappeared on purpose. I wasn't running away. I just didn't want to be here and risk letting my heart beat out my common sense. Not again. Not after all that's happened. And it was good to be in a place where no one judged me; where sins are smiled upon and where I'd probably stick out like a sore thumb if I tried to follow the rules when there really isn't any. Not to say that I "let myself go" (I think you did enough of that for the both of us), but to let go of what I can no longer change.
During my mini-journey, this song played constantly. I heard it way before it came on the radio, but it came at me with a vengeance this weekend. It didn't hurt to hear it so I surrendered to it and allowed the chorus to take over me. I felt the white flag drape over my mind and cleanse me. And when it was lifted, I came to my senses.
I kept thinking about how terribly awful these last 12-months have been for me. I kept focusing on what was taken away: my best friend, my "kids," my "gaysian" bff, my potential house, my LOML... that I really haven't focused on all the things that I've actually accomplished within this time. I know I've blogged about a few of them and reflected on how I've grown as a person (even though it took me nearly 3 decades to get here)...but I never really sat down with myself and said, "Damn girl, you did good."
I tried new things, new drinks, and new places. I let myself leave work and not go straight home just to see where I would end up. I danced more than I've ever danced in my life. I laugh at dumb movies. I gave my time and energy to travel, making new friends, and actually being happy during Happy Hour. I actually go to Happy Hour. I went to events I never thought I'd go to, saw things I never thought I'd see and made the best of even the most awful situations to learn how to deal with my own fears. I didn't change who I am to please anyone. If a friend wasn't really a friend, I cut them off. If a guy wasn't worth all of me, I let him go. I maintained this blog. I kept a green plant alive in my office. I'm handling a program that requires up to 3 people all by myself and it's running smoothly. I'm realizing how much I like what I do and how proud I am for doing it well (even if the people above me can still go to Hell). I spend my money on myself and don't get carried away spending it on people and things that don't matter. I do what I want when I want and with whomever I want to do it with because I can. We can only control our own self-control. And I'm definitely doing a damn good job.
Lyrics:
This one's for you and me, livin out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes
And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters
A sky full of lighters
By the time you hear this I will have already spiralled up
I would never do nothing to let you cowards f@$k my world up
If I was you, I would duck, or get struck like lightening,
Fighters keep fighting, put your lighters up, point em' skyward uh
Had a dream I was king, I woke up, still king...
This rap game's n*pple is mine for the milking,
Till nobody else even f@$king feels me, till' it kills me
I swear to god I'll be the f@$king illest in this music
There is or there ever will be, disagree?
Feel free, but from now on I'm refusing to ever give up
Only thing I ever gave up's using, no more excuses
Excuse me if my head is too big for this building
And pardon me if I'm a c@cky pr*ck but you c@cks are slick
Poppin sh*t on how you flipped ya life around, crock-o-sh*t
Who you d*cks tryna kid, flipped d*ck, you did opposite
You stayed the same, cause "c@ck" backwards is still "c@ck" you pr*cks
I love it when I tell em shove it
Cause it wasn't that long ago when Marshall sat, busted 'Lac, lustered
Cuz he couldn't cut mustard, muster up nothing
Brain fuzzy, cause he's buzzin', woke up from that buzz
And now you wonder why he does it, how he does it
Wasn't cause he had buzzards circle around his head
Waiting for him to drop dead, was it?
Or was it, cause them b*tches wrote him off
Little hussy a$$, guzzards f@$k it, guess it doesn't matter now, does it
What difference it make?
What's it take to get it through your thick skulls
That this ain't some bullsh*t
People don't usually come back this way
From a place that was dark as I was in
Just to get to this place
Now let these words be like a switch blade to a haters rib cage
And let it be known from this day forward
I wanna just say thanks cause your hate is what gave me the strength
So let em bic's raise cause I came with 5'9; but I feel like I'm
6'8;
This one's for you and me, living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes
And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters
A sky full of lighters
By the time you hear this I'll probably already be outtie
I advance like going from toting iron to going and buying 4 or 5 of the
Homies the iron man Audi
My daddy told me slow down, boy, you goin to blow it
And I ain't gotta stop the beat a minute
To tell Shady I love him the same way that he did Dr Dre on the Chronic
Tell him how real he is or how high I am
Or how I would kill for him for him to know it
I cried plenty tears, my daddy got a bad back
So it's only right that I right till he can march right into that post
Office and tell em to hang it up
Now his career's Lebron's jersey in 20 years
I'll stop when I'm at the very top
You sh*tted on me on your way up
It's 'bout to be a scary drop
Cause what goes up must come down
You going down on something you don't wanna see like a hairy box
Every hour, happy hour now
Life is wacky now
Used to have to eat the cat to get the pu$$y
Now I'm just the cats meooww, ow
Classic cow, always down for the catch weight like Pacquiao
Ya'll are doomed
I remember when T-Pain ain't wanna work with me
My car starts itself, parks itself and autotunes
Cause now I'm in the Aston
I went from having my city locked up
To getting treated like Kwame Kilpatrick
And now I'm fantastic
Compared to a weed high
And y'all n*gg@s just gossipin' like b*tches on a radio and TV
See me, we fly
Y'all buggin out like Wendy Williams staring at a bee-hive
And how real is that
I remember signing my first deal and now I'm the second best I can deal
With that
Now Bruno can show his a$$, without the MTV awards gag
You and I know what it's like to be kicked down
Forced to fight
But tonight we're alright
So hold up your light
Let it shine
Cause this one's for you and me, living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes
And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters
A sky full of lighters
http://www.azlyricdb.com/lyrics/Eminem-Lighters-313348
http://popcrush.com/eminem-royce-da-59-bruno-mars-lighters-video/
http://weheartit.com/tag/lighters
http://www.flickr.com/photos/karinasl/6070983248/
"I kept a green plant alive in my office." my favorite part, stubs
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