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"Volcano" - Damien Rice feat. Lisa Hannigan

I'm sitting here after a full day of keeping myself busy. After having sat on my hands all last night and tonight trying to fight the urge to write. After preventing the Blog Bitch from coming out because I didn't want to spill out more of my secrets for all to see, but there's no avoiding it. So, I'll once again reveal it.

I know as it seems that it was for my own good that this false sense of security was lifted off of me because I wouldn't have discovered that the things I desire can't be stashed safely behind a white picket fence in a cookie-cutter home. Yes, I thought the next step in this age would be to have something real, to hold onto something true, and to own what's rightfully mine. I had a game plan and it was a strong one. I would take care of mostly everything even if it meant that the "everything" I had was actually in the hands of someone else entirely. It wrecked me to say the least when the end result didn't turn out the way it did in my dreams. Although I carefully dotted my i's and crossed my t's, the story was still left unfinished and never became a reality I thought I wanted. Now I know it's because it really isn't what I want.

It wasn't fair for me to share the burden that I didn't create, to help fix a problem left unresolved for far too long, and to stand by and make sure that the person that eventually let me fall, stood tall. I wasn't supposed to devote my whole self into a life where in a matter of mere months some unknown, know-nothing simply entered effortlessly to take my place. It wasn't in the cards to see this set-up; this foundation that I worked so hard to build come crumbling down without anything left to show for it other than the remains of the faith I had in it. But it happened and I could do nothing to save it.

Often times we let this sense of urgency rush us into thinking that time is running out, that we fail to enjoy it minute by minute as we live it. Though it destroyed me to lose what I never thought I would ever lose, somewhere in that rubble was a fresh start. So, I chose to search for it. I chose to move with time and not against it. I've come so far just trying to meet the expectations I set for myself that I want to continue to let this be my choice; my ultimate goal.

Lyrics:

Don't hold yourself like that
You'll hurt your knees
I kissed your mouth and back
But that's all I need
Don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down

What I am to you is not real
What I am to you, you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea

Don't throw yourself like that
In front of me
I kissed your mouth your back
Is that all you need?
Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down

What I am to you is not real
What I am to you, you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask...

What I give to you
Was just what I'm going through
This is nothing new
No, no just another phase of finding
What I really need is what makes me bleed
But like a new disease, but lord she's still too young

What I am to you is not real
Volcanoes melt me down (She's still too young)
What I am to you, you do not need
Volcanoes melt me down (She's still too young)
What I am to you is not real
Volcanoes melt me down (She's still too young)
What I am to you, you do not need
Volcanoes melt me down (She's still too young)


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