Sorry's & Thank You's

"Fall for You" - Secondhand Serenade

I had a big fight with myself last night. I yelled. I cursed. I argued. I repeated things several times. I fished for praise. I fished for recognition. I fished for a fuckin' "Thank you." I fished for anything, but didn't catch anything except for the annoying cold-like symptoms you get from crying.

I cried hysterically. Whimpering under my breath, using a towel instead of tissues because my tears would bleed right through it too easily and I'm not one who would go for "easy." The towel was still damp from my shower. It soothed against my fire-hot eyes, now swollen from this ridiculous, reoccurring episode of, "Just Another Day."

I wanted to hit something, but surprisingly I didn't. I guess I didn't want to have to clean up afterwards. I wanted to quit and walk away, but I stayed put and set in my ways. I placed my shaky hands against the bathroom sink. I needed to feel something to bring me back to the present. I knelt down on the black rug and heaved. I attempted to throw up this hideous monster from within me. The one that provokes the worst out of me, but it didn't budge either.

It got to the point where I just didn't know what was the point anymore. I started to reflect on the past and that deja vu feeling came crawling back uninvited, but sadly very familiar. It was as ugly as it had been the last time I saw it. I think I heard it chuckle at me as if saying, "I told you so." Am I seriously going through the same cycle? Is this some kind of bad joke? I don't get what I'm supposed to do here. The only thing I probably see somewhat differently is that maybe it is my fault... I mean, I tend to challenge everyone. My family. My friends. My work. My man. No one can or ever will win against me. But I'm beginning to see that I'm the one who lost. Who knew that my own strength would break me?

I felt defeated, deflated, and drained. I pulled myself together and came back to bed. The sheets seemed to suffocate me so I poked you. You turned over and held your arms open more out of instinct than out of a need to hug me, but I curled up against you anyway. I held you close and said, "I'm sorry." You heard me, but I'm sure you didn't believe me. I've been apologizing a lot lately. Something I never thought I'd do and now they may seem like just two words to you. I guess so is a, "Thank you." But even simple words have astounding effects.

I woke up after a long night's sleep, still tired. I felt two kisses against my lips in the darkness. You left and I was alone again. I sprawled out in the middle of the bed. My eyes stung, but I kept them open. I didn't want to face a new day. I didn't want to face my own mistakes. So I faced the ceiling. I could hear the rain slow down outside. I thought maybe I should too.

Lyrics:

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Oh

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/secondhandserenade/fallforyou.html
http://www.myspace.com/secondhandserenade.com

Welcome to People

Songs TBA Last night, I saw a special, private screening courtesy of the Screening Exchange called, "Welcome to People" directed by Alex Kurtzman. I loved it and it wasn't something that I thought I'd love. In fact, I almost changed my mind at the last minute when I saw that familiar long line down the steps at Arclight Paseo. I figured, "Hell it's just another movie." But I'm so glad I didn't turn around. I'm glad I stood in the back of the line, got my hand stamped and cell phone taken away for nearly 3-hours in order to be in a room filled with strangers. I just wish I had something with me to write down the great songs I heard that disappeared by the time I logged onto this blog. It makes me appreciate technology...so check it out when it comes out. I'll make sure I have my cell phone handy the next time I see it so I can grab some songs along the way. Oh, I'm Hannah, not Frankie and let me know what you think.

Love Is Not Blind

"Colorblind" - Counting Crows I originally had a Dave Matthews Band song in my head, but like always I'm bending the rules a little bit and going with what's in my heart. After all, I couldn't follow my last blog with something you didn't like, could I? That just wouldn't fit and this seems to do just that. This song reminds me of the movie Cruel Intentions . It's hard not to think of it. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe's chemistry was so strong, especially in their steamy love scene with this song playing in the background, that any other memory pales in comparison. I always thought the lyrics were so simple and romantic, but it became even clearer here. There was no doubt about it. I knew instantly that they were a real life couple even before they announced it. Love is obvious. Acting can never really be this good unless two people have genuine feelings for each. Look at Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams in The Notebook and Angelina Jolie ...

UnBreakable Me

"Like A G6 & Bass Down Low" - Far East Movement, The Cataracs, & Dev I promised every week at the least. For Me. This is me keeping my promise. For Me. Cuz it's what I've been doing. For Me. And it's what I'll always do. For Me. Lyrics: If you wanna get with me There's some things you gotta know I like my beats fast And my bass down low (Drop it to the floor) Ba-ba-bass, bass, bass down low (to the floor) Bass, bass, bass down low (Drop it to the floor) I, I, I like my beats fast (to the floor) And my bass down low (to the floor) Bass, bass down low (Drop it to the floor) Bass, bass, bass down low (to the floor) I, I, I like my beats fast (Drop it to the floor) And my bass down low (to the floor) Popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6 Now I'm feeling so fly like a G6 (808) Like a G6, Like a G6 Now I'm feeling so fly like a G6 Like a G6, Like a G6 Now I...

A Bed of Songs & Stories

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