"Ho Hey" - The Lumineers
I'm not one for rules. Hell, I even break the ones I create for myself. Take this blog for example. I promised to write in it every, single day. Well, that was easy enough when I was an insomniac in my own space with my own light and my own bed. It was a no-brainer when my brain was filled with so many things I wanted to say. It didn't come as a challenge when the only challenge was controlling my thoughts enough to jot it all down. Then I promised at least once a week, but it's hard when that week is consumed with adjusting to change. New city, new route, new job, new people, new home...even though this excuse is now getting old. Regardless, I needed time and lots of it. So I figured, "Fine so just be lazy and do it once a month." You'd think I'll have plenty to write by then with so many experiences bursting at the seams, but then I unplugged my computer and temporarily moved it into the kitchen.
It's been about two months and it's still there.
I occasionally pass it by when I get a glass of water or file a few unnecessary receipts. I stomped on a few bugs that tried to hibernate near it and pushed it aside to wash a few dirty dishes. I grazed my fingertips on the dust that's carefully forming over its keys and took one of my old cleansing cloths to wipe the monitor. Other than that it hasn't been touched.
Sometimes I think it's making faces at me, shaking its head in disbelief as it utters, "Unbelievable." At times I sit back to face it in return. This faithful friend that never turned its back on me. Its tangled cords without a source leaves it to question my loyalty as I've left it without purpose and power. A collection of books crowd the smaller desktop it now rests on. Half-opened boxes of my life lean against it. It's funny to think that after all this time I can still fit my life in a few boxes. I think my mouse has gone missing too. It probably ran way from boredom and crawled into a new hole in the wall. At least it would be warmer.
I look at my computer and remember when it used to never get a full night's sleep. It was always there to console me, inspire me and keep me company when everyone else was dreaming. If it was freezing, I'd have the heater on near my feet, wrapped up in fuzzy socks and armed with a big ceramic mug filled with hot tea. If it was scorching hot, I'd have my hair trapped up in a claw clip and a tall glass of ice cold water with the moisture against the back of my neck. No matter what the temperature, my computer didn't mind as long as I took the time to spend with it.
But now it's stuck in that cold, uninsulated room where it doesn't belong and I feel guilty just thinking about it as I attempt to use this tiny little laptop in its place. It does what it needs to do, but it's just not the same. It's like being at the right place at the right moment, but with the wrong person. It's like having a craving for a certain something, but satisfying it when you no longer crave it. It's like being in the middle of nowhere and not really having much to do when you finally come to realize what is most important to you and never being able to tell it.
I don't want to create any more rules. I don't want to set any more timeframes. I just want to give myself that space again where me and my computer feel at home. Because it belongs to me. This is my mission when I return. This is my New Year's resolution and not only am I going to do it, I'm going to write it too.
Lyrics:
(Ho!) (Hey!) (Ho!) (Hey!)
(Ho!) I've been trying to do it right
(Hey!) I've been living a lonely life
(Ho!) I've been sleeping here instead
(Hey!) I've been sleeping in my bed,
(Ho!) sleeping in my bed
(Hey!)
(Ho!)
(Ho!) So show me family
(Hey!) All the blood that I would bleed
(Ho!) I don't know where I belong
(Hey!) I don't know where I went wrong
(Ho!) But I can write a song
(Hey!)
1, 2, 3
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweet
(Ho!)
(Hey!) (Ho!) (Hey!)
(Ho!) I don't think you're right for him
(Hey!) Look at what it might have been if you
(Ho!) Took a bus to China Town
(Hey!) I'd be standing on Canal
(Ho!) And Bowery
(Hey!)
(Ho!) And she'd be standing next to me
(Hey!)
1, 2, 3
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
Love ‒ we need it now
Let's hope for some
So, we're bleeding out
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweet
(Ho!)
(Hey!) (Ho!) (Hey!)
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/lumineers/hohey.html
image taken from Google.com
I'm not one for rules. Hell, I even break the ones I create for myself. Take this blog for example. I promised to write in it every, single day. Well, that was easy enough when I was an insomniac in my own space with my own light and my own bed. It was a no-brainer when my brain was filled with so many things I wanted to say. It didn't come as a challenge when the only challenge was controlling my thoughts enough to jot it all down. Then I promised at least once a week, but it's hard when that week is consumed with adjusting to change. New city, new route, new job, new people, new home...even though this excuse is now getting old. Regardless, I needed time and lots of it. So I figured, "Fine so just be lazy and do it once a month." You'd think I'll have plenty to write by then with so many experiences bursting at the seams, but then I unplugged my computer and temporarily moved it into the kitchen.
It's been about two months and it's still there.
I occasionally pass it by when I get a glass of water or file a few unnecessary receipts. I stomped on a few bugs that tried to hibernate near it and pushed it aside to wash a few dirty dishes. I grazed my fingertips on the dust that's carefully forming over its keys and took one of my old cleansing cloths to wipe the monitor. Other than that it hasn't been touched.
Sometimes I think it's making faces at me, shaking its head in disbelief as it utters, "Unbelievable." At times I sit back to face it in return. This faithful friend that never turned its back on me. Its tangled cords without a source leaves it to question my loyalty as I've left it without purpose and power. A collection of books crowd the smaller desktop it now rests on. Half-opened boxes of my life lean against it. It's funny to think that after all this time I can still fit my life in a few boxes. I think my mouse has gone missing too. It probably ran way from boredom and crawled into a new hole in the wall. At least it would be warmer.
I look at my computer and remember when it used to never get a full night's sleep. It was always there to console me, inspire me and keep me company when everyone else was dreaming. If it was freezing, I'd have the heater on near my feet, wrapped up in fuzzy socks and armed with a big ceramic mug filled with hot tea. If it was scorching hot, I'd have my hair trapped up in a claw clip and a tall glass of ice cold water with the moisture against the back of my neck. No matter what the temperature, my computer didn't mind as long as I took the time to spend with it.
But now it's stuck in that cold, uninsulated room where it doesn't belong and I feel guilty just thinking about it as I attempt to use this tiny little laptop in its place. It does what it needs to do, but it's just not the same. It's like being at the right place at the right moment, but with the wrong person. It's like having a craving for a certain something, but satisfying it when you no longer crave it. It's like being in the middle of nowhere and not really having much to do when you finally come to realize what is most important to you and never being able to tell it.
I don't want to create any more rules. I don't want to set any more timeframes. I just want to give myself that space again where me and my computer feel at home. Because it belongs to me. This is my mission when I return. This is my New Year's resolution and not only am I going to do it, I'm going to write it too.
(Ho!) (Hey!) (Ho!) (Hey!)
(Ho!) I've been trying to do it right
(Hey!) I've been living a lonely life
(Ho!) I've been sleeping here instead
(Hey!) I've been sleeping in my bed,
(Ho!) sleeping in my bed
(Hey!)
(Ho!)
(Ho!) So show me family
(Hey!) All the blood that I would bleed
(Ho!) I don't know where I belong
(Hey!) I don't know where I went wrong
(Ho!) But I can write a song
(Hey!)
1, 2, 3
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweet
(Ho!)
(Hey!) (Ho!) (Hey!)
(Ho!) I don't think you're right for him
(Hey!) Look at what it might have been if you
(Ho!) Took a bus to China Town
(Hey!) I'd be standing on Canal
(Ho!) And Bowery
(Hey!)
(Ho!) And she'd be standing next to me
(Hey!)
1, 2, 3
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
Love ‒ we need it now
Let's hope for some
So, we're bleeding out
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweet
(Ho!)
(Hey!) (Ho!) (Hey!)
image taken from Google.com
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