"Everything has Changed" - Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran
This was the song that came to mind. It took me a few days to wonder why of all songs this song, but I get it now.
I hate having one of those dreams when I wake up feeling more exhausted than when I went to bed. I wake up angry, scared, tired, aggravated, overwhelmed and anxious. I pinch myself to make sure I'm awake. It hurts, but not as much as my dream did. I control my breathing so I don't have a panic attack on top of it and tug at my courage to look around the room for something familiar. I'm more hopeful when there's light out so that I'm not stuck in the dark unsure of my surroundings. I do this a couple of times just to be safe.
Then I slowly sit up. I feel a bit woozy at first so I rarely make an effort to stand up right away. I often tend to lie back down, press my hands against the cool comforter and exercise my heavy eyelids. Open, shut, open, shut until I officially get up and make it to the window. Once I get there, I stare out, not really looking at anything but the brightness of a new day.
I reflect back on what happened and trip out on just how insane my mind can be. It does some crazy things, putting me in predicaments that seem so real that it resonates even days after it occurred. I over-think it and start wondering if my intuition is warning me. Then the whole scene plays again:
[Hotel lobby. Day. People coming and going.]
Him (rubbing the back of his neck): "Did you tell your family what they need to know about the rooms?"
Me: "Like what?"
Him (flustered): "Never mind. I'll do it."
He looks over to his associate behind the front desk and summons her over. She's a young, slender, half-white, half-Asian woman with her hair tied up in a bun. She's wearing a black pencil skirt with a white button-up blouse tucked in and is holding an iPad.
Her (a little too perky): "Yes, boss?"
I sneer at her, but she doesn't see me. They are caught up in a conversation I know nothing about. Logistics, here. Tech stuff, there. Blah, blah, blah. The only difference I notice is that when he talks to her, he doesn't rub the back of his neck.
She looks over to me and quickly turns and walks towards my family waiting on the other end of the room.
Me (sarcastically to myself): "I see...so she's playing hostess, huh?"
He walks pass me without saying a word and I hastily join my family before anyone can see what he just did. As I walk pass the front desk, I notice an older woman wearing small frames and a blue blazer, gazing sadly at me, shaking her head.
My family gathers their things as they see me coming.
Family: "Hi! Wow, they really changed this place. It looks nice and new."
Me (shrugging my shoulders): "Ya, I guess. So, you guys got everything you need?"
Family: "Yup, she's going to escort us to our suites now. Great customer service!"
Me (to myself): "I wonder who else this b*tch is serving?!"
[Suites. Afternoon.]
We enter the connecting suites. The side doors are open so we can get the full view: Elaborate kitchen with granite-counter tops, stainless steel appliances and a fridge full of food; A large dining area that seats ten with cushioned seats and a beautiful center piece bouquet that rests on top of a well-polished round table; A huge sofa with fluffy pillows in front of a vast entertainment center; and four separate bedrooms with King-sized beds; each with their own luxurious bathroom. The view of the city is breathtaking and I stand there in awe as she goes on and on about the amenities.
Him (knocking slightly on the door): "Everything look OK?"
Family (obviously impressed): "This is AMAZING!"
He smiles as my family continues to check out the place. They run from room to room. Plop on the sofa. Open and close the fridge. Step out into the patio to breathe in the ambiance. Someone flushes the toilet and screams with delight, "Whoosh, that's how it should be!"
As my family moves around and about I couldn't help but notice that he winked... but not at me. I look over at her and she softly giggles and turns away.
Me (pissed, but surprisingly to myself): "Something else needs to be whooshed."
A few hours went by. As my family settles in, I decide to make my way towards the round table to organize a few things. He enters moments later.
Him (tired, but pleasant): "OK everyone, I'm about to head out. If you need anything let me know and I'll see you all tomorrow."
Family (looking over at me): "Is she going with you?"
Him (not even looking at me):" Nah, I think she's better off staying here with you...to bond."
He says his goodbyes to everyone, but me but nobody notices. And as the door shuts on his way out I could slowly see her reflection in the hallway mirror.
Me (furious to myself): "She's waiting for him?!"
I jump up, open the door and wait for it to shut behind me.
[Elevator hallway. Sunset.]
I run up the hallway to the elevator and see him resting his chin on her head. His eyes are closed.
Him (sighing): "Long day, but glad it's over."
I couldn't make out what she said, but I didn't care. With all my energy, I push them apart.
Him (shocked): "What the f@ck?!"
Her (apologetically): "Mrs..."
Me (shaking, but keeping my cool with her): "Don't. If you know better, you'll stop before you say anything to me right now. You just need to leave."
Him (in what feels like he's saying in slow motion): "No, she doesn't. She doesn't need to go anywhere. What's wrong with you? Nothing happened."
Me (appalled): "You were wrapped up in each other!"
Him (as if it's no big deal): "I was merely giving her a hug for a job well done."
Me (disgusted): "Is that how you treat all your employees? You hug them so intimately? I don't see you hug the guys that way. Don't play me for a fool. I know what I saw and this is bullsh*t."
The elevator beeps and opens. I turn to walk away as he walks inside. She follows quietly behind him with her head down. I turn back around, sad but not surprised he didn't follow me.
I head for the stairs and secretly follow them down to his office.
[His office. Evening. Quiet].
Her: "Look, I know nothing actually happened, but you felt that right? You had to if your wife did."
Him (shaking his head): "Stop."
Her (pacing): "Just kiss me. Get it over with. Or if you feel something than you know I'm not crazy. But if you feel nothing at least we gave it a shot. But I know you're afraid you'll feel something."
Him (still shaking his head, but leaning in anyway): "Get it over with huh?"
I stand there. Motionless. As I watch what I had faith in all this time, what I invested in all this time, what I thought meant something all this time...vanish with one f@ckin' kiss. Whoosh!
I stand there. Motionless. As the kiss I used to feel is being felt by someone else. As this kiss that is supposed to feel nothing for him, starts to grow stronger.
I stand there. Motionless. With my heart in my hand. Unable to speak. Unable to scream. Unable to run up and break them apart as I stand there...broken.
But...he's the one that stops it. Holding her by the shoulders, he pushes her slowly away from him.
He is breathless, but in that moment he speaks, "Wait...I don't feel anything."
Her (flushed): "What? How could you not feel that?"
Him (gaining his composure): "I did feel something, but not the something that will last a lifetime. Not the something that I already have forever."
Her (in disbelief): "You can't be serious?"
Him (with certainty): "I don't know what I was thinking... To even consider this was a mistake."
I couldn't help, but move and with my tiny step came a tiny creak in the unforgiving wooden panel floor beneath me. They both turn to face me.
Him (apologetically): "..."
I run to him. Raising my hand to slap him, but for the first time since the last time my hand wouldn't meet his face. It became heavy and cold just like my heart.
Me (teary-eyed, but stern): "No, you stop. To think you had to kiss her just to be sure. To see you kiss her the way you first kissed me... And to know you didn't feel what she felt because she wasn't me. That's more than a mistake. It's mean we've come to an end."
Whoosh!
Then I woke up.
Lyrics:
All I knew this morning when I woke
Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before.
And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago
Is green eyes and freckles in your smile
In the back of my mind making me feel right
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you
Cuz all I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
You'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed
And all my walls stood tall painted blue
And I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you
And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies
The beautiful kind, making up for lost time,
Taking flight, making me feel right
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you
Cuz all I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
And you'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed
Come back and tell me why
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh.
And meet me there tonight
And let me know that it's not all in my mind.
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you
All I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
You'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed
All I know is we said, "Hello."
So dust off your highest hopes
All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed
All I know is a new found grace
All my days I'll know your face
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/taylorswift/everythinghaschanged.html
This was the song that came to mind. It took me a few days to wonder why of all songs this song, but I get it now.
I hate having one of those dreams when I wake up feeling more exhausted than when I went to bed. I wake up angry, scared, tired, aggravated, overwhelmed and anxious. I pinch myself to make sure I'm awake. It hurts, but not as much as my dream did. I control my breathing so I don't have a panic attack on top of it and tug at my courage to look around the room for something familiar. I'm more hopeful when there's light out so that I'm not stuck in the dark unsure of my surroundings. I do this a couple of times just to be safe.
Then I slowly sit up. I feel a bit woozy at first so I rarely make an effort to stand up right away. I often tend to lie back down, press my hands against the cool comforter and exercise my heavy eyelids. Open, shut, open, shut until I officially get up and make it to the window. Once I get there, I stare out, not really looking at anything but the brightness of a new day.
I reflect back on what happened and trip out on just how insane my mind can be. It does some crazy things, putting me in predicaments that seem so real that it resonates even days after it occurred. I over-think it and start wondering if my intuition is warning me. Then the whole scene plays again:
[Hotel lobby. Day. People coming and going.]
Him (rubbing the back of his neck): "Did you tell your family what they need to know about the rooms?"
Me: "Like what?"
Him (flustered): "Never mind. I'll do it."
He looks over to his associate behind the front desk and summons her over. She's a young, slender, half-white, half-Asian woman with her hair tied up in a bun. She's wearing a black pencil skirt with a white button-up blouse tucked in and is holding an iPad.
Her (a little too perky): "Yes, boss?"
I sneer at her, but she doesn't see me. They are caught up in a conversation I know nothing about. Logistics, here. Tech stuff, there. Blah, blah, blah. The only difference I notice is that when he talks to her, he doesn't rub the back of his neck.
She looks over to me and quickly turns and walks towards my family waiting on the other end of the room.
Me (sarcastically to myself): "I see...so she's playing hostess, huh?"
He walks pass me without saying a word and I hastily join my family before anyone can see what he just did. As I walk pass the front desk, I notice an older woman wearing small frames and a blue blazer, gazing sadly at me, shaking her head.
My family gathers their things as they see me coming.
Family: "Hi! Wow, they really changed this place. It looks nice and new."
Me (shrugging my shoulders): "Ya, I guess. So, you guys got everything you need?"
Family: "Yup, she's going to escort us to our suites now. Great customer service!"
Me (to myself): "I wonder who else this b*tch is serving?!"
[Suites. Afternoon.]
We enter the connecting suites. The side doors are open so we can get the full view: Elaborate kitchen with granite-counter tops, stainless steel appliances and a fridge full of food; A large dining area that seats ten with cushioned seats and a beautiful center piece bouquet that rests on top of a well-polished round table; A huge sofa with fluffy pillows in front of a vast entertainment center; and four separate bedrooms with King-sized beds; each with their own luxurious bathroom. The view of the city is breathtaking and I stand there in awe as she goes on and on about the amenities.
Him (knocking slightly on the door): "Everything look OK?"
Family (obviously impressed): "This is AMAZING!"
He smiles as my family continues to check out the place. They run from room to room. Plop on the sofa. Open and close the fridge. Step out into the patio to breathe in the ambiance. Someone flushes the toilet and screams with delight, "Whoosh, that's how it should be!"
As my family moves around and about I couldn't help but notice that he winked... but not at me. I look over at her and she softly giggles and turns away.
Me (pissed, but surprisingly to myself): "Something else needs to be whooshed."
A few hours went by. As my family settles in, I decide to make my way towards the round table to organize a few things. He enters moments later.
Him (tired, but pleasant): "OK everyone, I'm about to head out. If you need anything let me know and I'll see you all tomorrow."
Family (looking over at me): "Is she going with you?"
Him (not even looking at me):" Nah, I think she's better off staying here with you...to bond."
He says his goodbyes to everyone, but me but nobody notices. And as the door shuts on his way out I could slowly see her reflection in the hallway mirror.
Me (furious to myself): "She's waiting for him?!"
I jump up, open the door and wait for it to shut behind me.
[Elevator hallway. Sunset.]
I run up the hallway to the elevator and see him resting his chin on her head. His eyes are closed.
Him (sighing): "Long day, but glad it's over."
I couldn't make out what she said, but I didn't care. With all my energy, I push them apart.
Him (shocked): "What the f@ck?!"
Her (apologetically): "Mrs..."
Me (shaking, but keeping my cool with her): "Don't. If you know better, you'll stop before you say anything to me right now. You just need to leave."
Him (in what feels like he's saying in slow motion): "No, she doesn't. She doesn't need to go anywhere. What's wrong with you? Nothing happened."
Me (appalled): "You were wrapped up in each other!"
Him (as if it's no big deal): "I was merely giving her a hug for a job well done."
Me (disgusted): "Is that how you treat all your employees? You hug them so intimately? I don't see you hug the guys that way. Don't play me for a fool. I know what I saw and this is bullsh*t."
The elevator beeps and opens. I turn to walk away as he walks inside. She follows quietly behind him with her head down. I turn back around, sad but not surprised he didn't follow me.
I head for the stairs and secretly follow them down to his office.
[His office. Evening. Quiet].
Her: "Look, I know nothing actually happened, but you felt that right? You had to if your wife did."
Him (shaking his head): "Stop."
Her (pacing): "Just kiss me. Get it over with. Or if you feel something than you know I'm not crazy. But if you feel nothing at least we gave it a shot. But I know you're afraid you'll feel something."
Him (still shaking his head, but leaning in anyway): "Get it over with huh?"
I stand there. Motionless. As I watch what I had faith in all this time, what I invested in all this time, what I thought meant something all this time...vanish with one f@ckin' kiss. Whoosh!
I stand there. Motionless. As the kiss I used to feel is being felt by someone else. As this kiss that is supposed to feel nothing for him, starts to grow stronger.
I stand there. Motionless. With my heart in my hand. Unable to speak. Unable to scream. Unable to run up and break them apart as I stand there...broken.
But...he's the one that stops it. Holding her by the shoulders, he pushes her slowly away from him.
He is breathless, but in that moment he speaks, "Wait...I don't feel anything."
Her (flushed): "What? How could you not feel that?"
Him (gaining his composure): "I did feel something, but not the something that will last a lifetime. Not the something that I already have forever."
Her (in disbelief): "You can't be serious?"
Him (with certainty): "I don't know what I was thinking... To even consider this was a mistake."
I couldn't help, but move and with my tiny step came a tiny creak in the unforgiving wooden panel floor beneath me. They both turn to face me.
Him (apologetically): "..."
I run to him. Raising my hand to slap him, but for the first time since the last time my hand wouldn't meet his face. It became heavy and cold just like my heart.
Me (teary-eyed, but stern): "No, you stop. To think you had to kiss her just to be sure. To see you kiss her the way you first kissed me... And to know you didn't feel what she felt because she wasn't me. That's more than a mistake. It's mean we've come to an end."
Whoosh!
Then I woke up.
Lyrics:
All I knew this morning when I wokeIs I know something now, know something now I didn't before.
And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago
Is green eyes and freckles in your smile
In the back of my mind making me feel right
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you
Cuz all I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
You'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed
And all my walls stood tall painted blue
And I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you
And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies
The beautiful kind, making up for lost time,
Taking flight, making me feel right
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you
Cuz all I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
And you'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed
Come back and tell me why
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh.
And meet me there tonight
And let me know that it's not all in my mind.
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you
All I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
You'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed
All I know is we said, "Hello."
So dust off your highest hopes
All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed
All I know is a new found grace
All my days I'll know your face
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/taylorswift/everythinghaschanged.html
"You wrote it like a screenplay...it was great...it had me wanting to find out what was gonna happen next...you should send it to a publisher or something."
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I wish I could allow anonymous comments, but it's scary not to have full control of what some may say...I received this comment thru another source and it really made me feel inspired so I thought to share it. Thank you whoever you are. This is awesome.
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