A Bed of Songs & Stories

"Miss Independent" - NeYo Just a lil' somethin' I stand by that no one will ever change in me. I vow for this new year to allow myself the luxury to be spoiled rotten. I vow to set my own priorities and to do what makes me happy because it's rare. I vow to be loved more than I know how to love because I'm worth it. I vow to cry less unless it's because I laughed too hard. I vow to see more, do more, feel more, and crave more. I vow to take care of myself before taking care of someone else. I vow to be selfish. I vow to take more time off work. I vow to be around people who make me feel alive. I vow to appreciate all things, even the little things I tend to ignore. I vow to take breaks, make mistakes and actually learn from them, never say never, and always think there's something better out there to strive for. I vow to strive for it. And I vow to get it. Lyrics: Oh it's somethin' about Just somethin' about the way she moves I c...

"Say It Right" - Nelly Furtado This song reminds me of well...me. I can't believe it took me a while to get this on my blog, but here it is. So what do I have to write about? Nothing, the lyrics speak for themselves. Lyrics: In the day In the night Say it right Say it all You either got it Or you don't You either stand or you fall When your will is broken When it slips from your hand When there's no time for joking There's a hole in the plan Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me No you don't mean nothing at all to me But you got what it takes to set me free Oh you could mean everything to me I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark I can't say that I don't know that I am alive And all of what I feel I could show You tonight, you tonight Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me No you don't mean nothing at all to me But you got what it takes to set me free Oh you coul...

"Bump N' Grind" - R. Kelly This song still does it for me. If anything, it takes me back to a time when a guy knew how to make you feel wanted. I don't care who you are, you know it feels awesome to be desired; to have someone pine for you and say all the right things in all the right ways. It's hard to resist that initial attraction that pulls two people together (regardless if it'll last longer than that first meeting). You let yourself go and fall into it because even if you know it may be too good to be true, it's right there and you can't help but take it anyway. It's a drug, it releases your inhibitions and puts you on a high you wish you would never come down from. It's a smile and a giggle out of nowhere. You know, you've done it. You've rolled your eyes at people who've done it around you. It's a loss of breath. A punch to the chest, but you won't feel the pain until after. It's mind-boggling, a run through a ma...

"All the Things" - Joe Ah, Joe. You sure know how to make a gal feel fine. Hot damn, hot damn, hot damn. If only it were that simple. If only I can buy into these words. Such great expectations and even higher standards to meet. Although I'm not a complicated girl I know what I like and in a way, I guess that tends to complicate things. This is not my intention. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm worn out, fed up, and done. So whoever's willing to take this on, good luck. You'll need it, I assure you. Lyrics: Hey, love You say you need someone To be there for you To love you all night long, huh It’s kinda funny but I don’t think you have to look no further Because I’m right here And I’m ready To do all the things your man won’t do Tell me what kind of man Would treat his woman so cold Treat you like you’re nothin’ When you’re worth more than gold Girl, to me you’re like a diamond I love the way you shine A hundred million dollar treasure ...

"That's the Way Love Goes" - Janet Jackson I wanted to keep it sexy for the weekend. Cuz this is what I am. I've had enough of this year. I'm looking forward to bigger, better and more exciting things ahead. I'm done dwelling and am ready to end 2010 with a bang! And so the countdown begins...2011 here I come. Lyrics: Like a moth to a flame Burned by the fire My love is blind Can't you see my desire? That's the way love goes Like a moth to a flame Burned by the fire My love is blind Can't you see my desire? Like a moth to a flame Burned by the fire My love is blind Can't you see my desire That's the way love goes Like a moth to a flame Burned by the fire That's the way love goes My love is blind Can't you see my desire? Come with me Don't you worry I'm gonna make you crazy I'll give you the time of your life I'm gonna take you places You've never been before and You'll be so happy that you came Oh, I'm...

"Santa Baby" - Eartha Kitt I had a wonderful Christmas Eve and with all that has happened thus far, I couldn't help but stay in bed a while longer this morning just to let it sink in. I felt a little sad and needed a moment to myself before taking on yet another day. I have a bunch of presents to go through thanks to my beautiful family, laundry to do, and a room to clean. I have bountiful receipts to file away and pictures to upload. But...for now, I'll let it wait and enjoy something I never let myself enjoy often enough: Doing absolutely nothing , but listen to my all time favorite, and by far the sexiest Christmas song ever. Lyrics: Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me I've been an awful good girl Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue I'll wait up for you dear Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight Think of all the fun I've missed Think of all the fellas that I haven...

"River" - Joni Mitchell I finally said my goodbyes and received goodbyes in return. I waited long enough. It was time. It's true, "people do get emotional around this time of year." I'm no different from the rest. I guess it's because I've had to let go of quite a bit. All of which I had no choice, but to do. I may break down every now and then, but I'm not broken. Lyrics: It's coming on Christmas They're cutting down trees They're putting up reindeer And singing songs of joy and peace Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on But it don't snow here It stays pretty green I'm going to make a lot of money Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene I wish I had a river I could skate away on I wish I had a river so long I would teach my feet to fly Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on I made my baby cry He tried hard to help me You know, he put me at ease And he loved me so naughty Made me weak in the knees Oh I wis...

"My Immortal" - Evanescence When I first heard this song, my initial reaction was that the singer was singing of heartbreak and loneliness; of the exhaustion of loving someone who just can't be loved no matter how hard she tried. I thought she was giving up because it just got too damn hard to keep up. I thought I could relate. I thought at the time I was feeling what she felt. In mid-October, this song came to mind again. And then I finally chose to listen to the lyrics very carefully and realized that what she was referring to was not at all what I had assumed. I Googled it and learned that the singer was mourning the loss of her sister. A loss I can't even bear to think about as I sit here and type this. Now, my pain is so elementary compared to the true sadness of this song. All I see when I hear these lyrics is the image of two empty swings sitting still in a quiet playground on a cloudy day. Lyrics: I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish f...

"Sober" - Tool Holy sh*t. Summer. Freshman year. A serenade in her ear. From someone who didn't quite fit. Who couldn't take no for an answer just yet. Taking what was once held sacred even more than she can bear. She did it for you, didn't she? Spitting out such dirty lyrics. A playful act taken too seriously. And in time it was you who feared it. So in the end it was an unexpected surprise. That such an innocent flower could have a dark side. Lyrics: There's a shadow just behind me Shrouding every step I take Making every promise empty Pointing every finger at me Waiting like a stalking butler Who upon the finger rests Murder now, the pattern called "must we" Just because the son has come Jesus,won't you f@#%ing whistle? Something but the past and done Jesus, won't you f@#%ing whistle Something but the past and done Why can't we not be sober? I just want to start this over And why can't we drink forever? I just want to start this ov...

"The Moment I Said It" - Imogen Heap The rain came down hard this morning as I approached the hill just above Marengo and Arroyo Parkway. My iPod started to play this song as I made my way down to the traffic light below. Cars were stopped from all sides as I watched the Metro cross the street. Then it was my turn. I made a left and drove cautiously towards the 110 freeway. I knew cops frequent this area and I definitely didn't want to get caught this time around. My red and white tends to attract the wrong kind of attention. The rain started to soften up as I waited patiently for the light to turn green. As I looked around I couldn't help, but notice just how careless some people really were. Some drivers had their vanity mirrors out to touch up their makeup while others decided to ignore their hand-held devices to talk or text. Pedestrians without umbrellas (knowing full well that it was going to rain) tried to make a run for it. I question just how mortal we truly ...

"Carried Away" - George Strait This is as Country as it's gonna get, but before you judge me listen to it. Let it get into you because only Country can do love songs like this: To sing about how one should truly be loved and how awesome it could feel to be the one receiving it. I know deep in my heart that I can love someone well. I know that I have been loved before just as well. Unfortunately, it only lasts for so long before it slowly drains away. It's almost as if I have a certain amount set aside just for me, but once that's gone, it's done. I never quite understood this. I love with a full tank and never empty it out. It gets banged up every now and then and may spring a leak or two, but somehow some way it manages to patch itself up. Now, I promise myself to reserve just a little bit of this love for me. As a back-up plan so that I'm not left completely unprepared when something unexpected happens. So that I will remember that I will still have som...

"I Miss You" - Klymaxx One of my most fondest memories I have of growing up was lip synching to this song. I was so tiny that at the time I couldn't even remember any of the lyrics. After just a few mini-rehearsals, we took the "stage" of our living room floor. My older sister, cousin and I, stood in front of the TV with an audience full of family and friends staring back at us. The familiar drum cymbal roll cued us in as we began to sway from side to side. We choreographed a simple routine to resemble the phrase, "I miss you." For "I," we pointed to ourselves. For "Miss," we crossed our arms over our chest. And for "You," we pointed out towards the crowd. This I could do and did well. I have a home video to prove it. The best part was when the video camera pans out to show just who was watching us attempt to sing a sad love song. You could see smiles on everyone's faces. They didn't want to leave. We had their fu...

"Purple Rain" - Prince continued... This song is definitely a "driving through a winding road heading towards the mountains on a gloomy, rainy, and beautiful morning" kinda song. I may have been a youngin when it first came out, but my mind was extremely advanced. I let my heart conjure up an imaginary love even if it was something I have yet to feel with a man I have yet to meet. The image played out so vividly in my head. I was always behind the wheel. Sometimes I had a passenger, but most of the time I was alone. I would be driving a stick-shift with dark interior and all the trimmings of a fast car. My hair was always down. Long and wavy or cut short up to my shoulders. I would either be wearing faded jeans and a blue/gray top or a sexy, black dress leaving little to the imagination. The sun never came up and the rain kept on coming. No one else was ever on the road. Sometimes I had a destination. A cabin, a mountain top with a great view, a hidden patch deep ...

"Purple Rain" - Prince I was about to log out. After all, it is after 1:11A... but for some reason I could not bring myself to give up so easily this time around. I jotted down something just to show that I made an attempt and that was going to be the end of it. It was all too exhausting, but I just had to try even though my warm bed behind me is inviting me in. I know I would just lie there, tossing and turning until my body does what my brain wants. It f@cks with me that way. I made a promise and I have to make every effort to stick to it for no one else, but me. I slipped in November and am continuing to do so in December. But enough already, no more excuses. I blame the holidays. I blame my energy level. I have to admit sleep has not been difficult considering the work week I have had and it ain't over. I still have one more day left (that starts in 4-hours), but once I clock out I plan to do nothing, but breathe and smile all weekend long...so much in fact that i...

Blah, blah, blah, blah... here we go again stuck in this big old infamous trap of Writer's Block. I can't think of a song that fits my mood, but let me just say minus the frustration of getting a blog up each day during such a long work week ... I gotta admit that I've been in the best of moods so far. I guess I can only really write when I'm feeling emotional. And all I'm feeling now is just plain good.

"I Go To Sleep" - Sia My left shoulder looked over to my lower back and uttered, "I'm a f@ckin' mess." And my lower back cracked a little and replied, "I couldn't agree with you more." They thought for a moment, both in pain...both in need of sleep... "What do you suppose is causing all this?" they asked in unison. My heart was a about to chime in, but no one's been paying much attention to it lately. It's not in the best shape anyway to over-exert itself. After a long pause, my brain finally answered with a hefty sigh, "Stress, lots and lots of it." A few pain killers and a couple of Salonpas later, smelling like a medicine cabinet and looking like a patchwork quilt, I stretched out my lazy limbs and stared at myself in the mirror. I know there are bountiful solutions out there that doesn't involve a handful of pills and heating pads, but this is the easiest, quickest fix. The numbness is slowly kicking in and s...

"Fidelity" - Regina Spektor I absolutely adore this song. It reminds me of a very good girlfriend of mine. One I was secretly attracted to in a way because I was so drawn to her free spirit and quirky sense of style that only she can pull off. I admired her ability to just throw whatever on and be comfortable just not totally fitting in. She had this way about her. Her spontaneous energy and tom-boyish charm was so appealing and full of heart. I am not implying that this attraction was an intimate one by any means, but I am saying that it intrigued me just how well she carried herself. She is still a wonderful friend of mine, but sadly a lot of her original drive that made her stand out...disappeared. It was replaced by the stresses of every day life and a boy who just does not know what a great woman she really is, so much so that she is quickly forgetting it herself. It surprises me just how much people change for other people and sacrifice so much of themselves to make so...

"Heal Over" - KT Tunstall Lately, this song has found it's way through my shuffle play at least once a day...So finally I say, "Ok KT, sing me to sleep." This is dedicated to the small, significant few who have helped me even when I said, "I'm doing fine." I know my sisters will always be here for me and I thank my lucky stars to have them by my side. I can't write enough about this genuine fortune in my life. And in addition to my heart and soul , I have people that really have shown me just how much I'm truly worth. Friends who truly are my friends who love me for me. My flaws and all and this is a rare find. They know who they are. Thank you for making me laugh, dance, "get out there," vent, cry, mope, be still, work it out, shop it off, and sip it away one coffee cup at a time. Thanks for being my "plus-ones," for taking long lunch hours, spilling juicy gossip, doing extreme makeovers, showing support, filling the v...

"Bitter" - Jill Sobule I could feel a bit of bitterness within me so I'm posting this song to remind me that I may be in a rut now, but it won't last long. I don't want it to. Whatever it is I need, it'll come to me in due time. I'm just not out trying to find it. Not because I don't want to, but because I'm not really sure what it is I'm looking for. I don't want to overthink it. I don't want to work at anything besides being better to myself for myself. And I have to admit, I sorta kinda like being this way. A lot. Lyrics: I could slip, I could fall In that mean and awful hall With the other jealous bitches And the bitter grumbling men I could sneer, I could glare say that life is so unfair And the one who made it, made it cuz her breasts were really big Well I don't wanna get bitter I don't wanna turn cruel I don't wanna get old before I have to I could bitch, I could moan Say I want to be left alone But that...

"My Skin" - Natalie Merchant I sat in a crowded lounge filled with people I knew and some I didn't know. This was a side of work I rarely get to see after hours and for a moment I left my agenda at the door and allowed myself the pleasure of enjoying the company of coworkers. I guess with a few mixed drinks and no priority lists, it's not too far-fetched to believe that we can all laugh, play and have a good time just the same. This wasn't just a simple get-together. We were invited to launch an event for our company's PSA announcement called This Is Me, Raw . I didn't know what to expect as the projector rolled down and the short footage began to play. All I knew was that a few good men were asked to confess something on camera about their own personal lives. They removed an article of clothing for every detail they disclosed. To "strip down" if you will, not only in a physical sense but also mentally and emotionally. Their fears, worries, wh...

"Daisy Dead Petals" - Tori Amos Here's a Tori song from More Pink: The B-Sides (an album I wish I officially owned, but only have burned onto a CD). All of these songs, especially this one in particular, makes me think of walking home from the bus stop in the rain and the smell of wet asphalt and yellow daisies. I would pick them a block away from my house, pull the petals off one by one and scatter them over the small puddles with each step I made. Afterwards, I would feel bad for hurting them, even knowing that I would probably do it again on another rainy day. So I would just stand there, underneath my umbrella lost in thought on how I could be so cruel and feel so at peace with it at the same time. Lyrics: daisy dead petals that is her name she's in a phone booth phase, so underneath the shade of a peppermint tray she can turn it out with a heel on she just rides into town knowing what they'll say knowing they're around the corner got a crack in got a crac...

"Under My Tree" - NSYNC I woke up abruptly this morning. My dream was so tangled up in my head that I couldn't, even if I tried to, explain what caused me to open my eyes too soon. It bothered me and I was still tired. This much I knew. The time read 9:00am, which to anyone who knows me would know it was way too early for me, especially for a Sunday. I tossed and turned, but my mind was done sleeping. My heart was too. I could've easily stayed in bed a while longer, watched some TV and made it another lazy day, but that's just not my style. When things bug me enough to keep me awake, that's a sign to get out of bed and do something. And that's exactly what I did. Today was the day to stop being anti-festive. I dragged my little sis, grabbed the NSYNC Home for Christmas CD, put my game face on and took on what most would cower away from: Christmas shopping on a weekend. I knew it would be hell, but I love it when I'm in a mood to be productive and this...

"Revenge of the Nerds" Theme Music Some things will never grow old with me. This classic 80's film is one of them. It always makes me want to root for the underdog! It's a bit raunchy and definitely dated, but I love it. I love how they find a runned down ol' house and fix it up to look as good as new. I love how they pour liquid heat over the "jockstrap salad" and invade the Pies. I love how Gilbert makes a move on Judy through computer animation and cheers her on no matter how terrible she sounds playing the accordion. "So I say I gotta be free. So I say I gotta be me." - Judy (Michelle Meyrink) I love the yellow tricycle. Takashi you're my hero! I love how the Lambdas barricade the stage in the end to give Gilbert a chance to speak up. But most of all, I love the talent show! It doesn't matter that I own this movie on DVD, I still watch it whenever it pops up on TV. It's just one of those things you can't bring yourself to ch...

"All is Full of Love" - Bjork A subtle, uneasy feeling drifted by me as I walked down the cold hallway. All the doors were shut tight trying to lock the heat in from escaping. I almost lost my footing as I made my way to mine. I placed the palm of my right hand against the wall to keep my balance as my black and white scarf unraveled and fell to the floor. I stood there for a moment debating whether or not I should pick it up. I felt dizzy, sad, and unsure of everything. I wanted to give up and fall too to keep my scarf company, but the uneven linoleum tiles would have been less forgiving to me. I heard this song playing from somewhere nearby. I leaned in closer as the words "All is full of love " filled the air. Unlike the heat, it made its way through the walls and from underneath the doors and warmed me up. I stayed until it ended and then found my way again. Lyrics: You'll be given love You'll be taken care of You'll be given love You have to trus...

"Crystal" - Stevie Nicks I had no plans and didn't want to spend my time doing errands (it was too cold out) or organizing paperwork (I was too stressed out). I wanted to welcome the Christmas season by doing absolutely nothing that requires too much thought. The decorations are up and the tree is beautiful. I love sitting on the couch watching the lights as they bounce off the ornaments. It's so calming to me. I didn't want to move from that spot so I buried myself with a few comfy pillows and flicked on the TV without any expectations. To my surprise one of my favorite movies Practical Magic just came on. Countless times I wanted to buy this on DVD, but thinking I already owned it I would put it back. I have bountiful DVDs, but to my dismay I only have this movie on VHS. Yes folks, VHS. Unfortunately, I no longer have a VHS player and I can't find this movie on DVD anymore so you could imagine how happy I was to be able to watch it again...even with...