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Showing posts from 2011

Inspiration

"Ikaw" (You) - Sharon Cuneta This song is the song of all songs. It is how I love and how I would want to be loved in return. It is the song that pops into mind whenever I feel like singing in Tagalog. All of the songs that Sharon sings inspire me. And I could use a lot more of this right now. It starts with me. Lyrics: Ikaw ang bigay ng Maykapal* (You are a gift from God*) Tugon sa aking dasal (As an answer to my prayer) Upang sa lahat ng panahon (So that all through time) Bawat pagkakataon (Every moment) ang ibigin ko'y ikaw (You'd be the one I'll love) Ikaw ang tanglaw sa 'king mundo (You are the light of my world) Kabiyak nitong puso ko (Half of my heart) Wala ni kahati mang saglit Na sa iyo'y may papalit (No one could replace you even for a second) Ngayo't kailanma'y ikaw (There is only you, now and forever) Ang lahat ng aking galaw Ang sanhi ay ikaw (Everything I do, I do it for you) Kung may bukas mang tinatanaw (If there is a future to lo

All or Nothing

"Now and Forever" - Richard Marx I thought this song could speak for itself so originally I didn't plan on writing anything, but you noticed. I don't want you to think that everything you've done thus far is going unnoticed. So, let me just take a moment to tell you this. Your serenade gave me tingles and at first it was too much. I'm still not sure how to react because I don't want to be misunderstood. Your compilation (both new and old) has hit me in so many ways. You probably don't even know do you? I feel overwhelmed by all of this. By your sweetness and even more so with your attention to detail. The fact that you stayed up late just to make sure everything was "perfect" is beyond amazing to me. I almost forgot what it felt like to have someone show so much effort to express how they feel. It's a little unnerving to think that maybe this time you'll have the upper-hand because I don't even know where to begin. How do I show

Malaya

"Kung Malaya Lang Ako (If Only I Were Free)" - Kris Lawrence I don't know why, but I chose to put this song on repeat all day today. I guess it's been a while since a song popped into my mind right when I wake up and this morning this one did. It's been in my head ever since. Sadly, as fluent as I think I am in Tagalog, I have to admit I needed some help with this one. The word "malaya" threw me off. Funny how the word "free" was beyond my recognition. I just don't hear it said a lot. Maybe it's because I haven't been free or should I say felt free in so long... What's even more interesting is how free I feel now in this new or should I say rekindled relationship. But not free in the sense that I want to continue seeing other people. Just free from stress. From trying to please someone who doesn't deserve it or knows how to make me feel worthy of it. From fixing everything except myself. From doing everything exc

This Christmas

"My Grown Up Christmas List" - Kelly Clarkson I'm not so sure I even know where to begin on this Christmas day. In less than 24 hours, I felt every emotion imaginable. But before I get into mine, let me start by telling other people's stories. A fairly new couple who have only been dating for about a year got engaged. He is a pretty successful guy, confident in his profession and stable in his home. She is a carefree spirit with a steady career. On Christmas Eve in front of his family and their friends, she sat unwrapping present after present until finally reaching a big box carefully placed in the center of the room. Distracted with all the commotion, she opens it only to discover another box after another box after yet another. She rummaged through the tissue paper, pulling out the box not even realizing he was kneeling before her. "Here let me help you with that," he said. But she was too quick and opened it. Stunned beyond belief, she immediately burst

Last Christmas

"Last Christmas" - Wham That was then and it hurt like all Hell. It was over and I thought I was too. But I'm not in pain anymore. So thank you for leaving me. You made me realize that I do deserve someone special and now he has my heart. Lyrics: Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year To save me from tears I'll give it to someone special Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year To save me from tears I'll give it to someone special Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance But you still catch my eye Tell me baby Do you recognize me? Well It's been a year It doesn't surprise me I wrapped it up and sent it With a note saying "I love you" I meant it Now I know what a fool I've been But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year To save me from tears I'll give it

UnBreakable Me

"Like A G6 & Bass Down Low" - Far East Movement, The Cataracs, & Dev I promised every week at the least. For Me. This is me keeping my promise. For Me. Cuz it's what I've been doing. For Me. And it's what I'll always do. For Me. Lyrics: If you wanna get with me There's some things you gotta know I like my beats fast And my bass down low (Drop it to the floor) Ba-ba-bass, bass, bass down low (to the floor) Bass, bass, bass down low (Drop it to the floor) I, I, I like my beats fast (to the floor) And my bass down low (to the floor) Bass, bass down low (Drop it to the floor) Bass, bass, bass down low (to the floor) I, I, I like my beats fast (Drop it to the floor) And my bass down low (to the floor) Popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6 Now I'm feeling so fly like a G6 (808) Like a G6, Like a G6 Now I'm feeling so fly like a G6 Like a G6, Like a G6 Now I

More Fun

"Blow" - Kesha I just don't want to be sentimental right now. I'm in the mood to put the kind of mainstream music on here that makes me want to dance. Can you believe the last time I went out dancing with my "girls" was in July? That was my clubbing month, my party month, the unplanned-last-minute-every-weekend, awesome month. But then I got "old" again. I don't want to be old anymore. So, I need to put something up. Cuz for now this girl definitely wants to have more fun. Dance. Back door cracked, we don't need a key We get in for free, no V.I.P. sleaze, Drink that Kool-Aid follow my lead, Now you're one of us, you're coming with me It's time to kill the lights and shut the DJ down (This place's about to) Tonight we're taking over, no one's getting out This place's about to blow-oh-oh-oh! Blow-oh-oh-oh (This place about to) Now what? What? We're taking control We get what we want We do what you don't Dir

Again?!

"Dance A$$" - Big Sean feat. Nikki Minaj "B*tches Ain't Sh*t" - YG feat. Tyga & Nipsey Hussle "Money on the Floor" - Too Short feat. E40 "Good F@$king Night" - Roscoe Dash So, I was told I curse too much during my trainings. Again. Hell, I know I have a muthaf@$Kin' bad mouth in and outside of work so let me address this right quick. Oh, and just so I can show some kind of reservation, I'll censor my words for now. Let's get one thing clear here. I train about sex, drugs, and how to talk to someone about very taboo things no matter what age, background, or culture they identify with. I shock my participants with the language they'll hear in the field because it will happen and it is what I do. Now if this offends you, well then f@$k you! Ok, now that that's out of the way I do have two questions for the tiny few of you that have an issue with my approach. (1) Why are you even considering this kind of work? and (2) W

Dizzy

"Someday We'll Be Together" - The Supremes "I can have the busiest day and all I have to do is hit 'home screen' on my phone. Your face pops up and not only does it put a smile on my face, but it reminds me what I'm doing it all for. Thank you for being you and for returning to me. <3 u..." - RG I'm dizzy, but don't let this feeling stop me from spinning. I feel like flying! I will be in a few more days and the anxiety of it is overwhelming. Not because I fear planes, but because I know that it'll quickly lead me back to you. Yes, I'm a corny freakin' cliche, but I'm smiling all the time and I've been told I'm quite good at it so why ruin a good thing? I look at my phone for a minute and know that soon I'll be talking to you and everything will work itself out. And for that I just want to say I so very much thank you too. This isn't puppy love. We've passed that in junior high, didn't we? But it'

Shell-Shocked

"Last Dance" - Donna Summer I'm here again Dear Blog, but I'm not really sure where "here" is anymore. I wish I had an epiphany where everything just made sense and I knew what to do so that I won't get hurt, disappointed, frustrated, careless, and clueless. I wish I could be in the mindset where I don't mistaken a whirlwind of emotions to be a bad thing and give it time to settle before popping in a couple of Advils. I wish that when someone says, "I'll take care of it...of you," that I could truly believe that this will actually happen for the long run... maybe even after then . I wish I could believe that there's weight in their words and that the excitement of having this staring at me in the face is all I could...I would focus on. But I'm just shell-shocked all over again. It's only been a few days. Then again it's been years... It's like we're still kids, but we're all grown up. We've changed.

Often Do

"Without You" - David Guetta feat. Usher I wonder what the theme song on New Year's Eve will be this year? My baby sis said it's going to definitely be something mainstream and this fits the category. I have a feeling it may be in the running to be the next "2012." Why? Well, when a year is coming to an end and another one begins, people often reflect. With reflection comes bountiful feelings of... Relief Wonderment Accomplishment Regret Loneliness Togetherness Connection Realization Contemplation Plan of Action Insecurities Certainty Guilt Love Euphoria Metamorphosis Sense of direction Or a continuation of a lack thereof Whatever the emotion or case may be, an end to something leads to a beginning of another. And almost always, it means another person to share it with. Whether it's family, friends, or a special someone...whether it's a big group, a small group, or just the one. We tend to flock together vs. drift apart. This song does just that. So

Home

"Come Home" - One Republic feat. Sara Bareilles Almost a week rolled by Dear Blog and it's only half-way done. I'm sitting here, alone in a very quaint hotel room, right across the street from a pretigious college campus. I'm typing away on my laptop that's on a small wooden desk against a tiny balcony overlooking a cafe filled with anxious students cramming for finals in front of a laptop of their own. I'm so close that I could see their ceramic mugs need some refilling. As I sit and stare out, I somehow find myself feeling what it must've felt like to be in a dorm far away from home. I'm stuck in so many ways and yet at this moment, in this historical building that smells like a dusty library book, I feel free. This space is welcoming to me. I miss my family and have no friends here, but rather than sulk about it I shared my Chinese take-out with a cool chic at the front desk. I don't have my car, but without it I'm allowing myself

Delete?

24 songs got dropped from Playlist. 24. 14 from Part II and 10 from the Archives. What's worse is that most of these are from my favorite blogs. Like the one about the bankrupt bookstore and the other about the free-spirited peddlers on the street. There's the one about the time I felt like a real adult and plenty others that really sang out to you...and you too. There's the ones about turning a new leaf (with how I see myself) and turning the page (with where I need to move to now). Now, the idea of having to look up all of these songs in the middle of this mess of packing for a mere week away is too much...I just wanted to hear music to help relieve the anxiety of being on a plane again, especially by myself. And now all I'm reliving is the memory of writing these posts and the memories that inspired them. I need a break in the worst way, but sh*t like this just makes me want to quit. What's the point...really, wtf is the point in all this? I seriously wan

Broken

"Paradise" - Coldplay It took a while for this song to affect me, but I guess a windy drive home through an obstacle course of devastating proportions and the sudden panic of having a "State of Emergency" warning flash within my quiet hometown can change things. A lot. I didn't sleep a single minute last night. Although this isn't anything new, it's new to me to want to sleep and not get it. It was unbelievably frightening to be alone in my room with the nite-lite busted and the wind at full speed...even worse when half the roof over my head flew to the ground with a thunderous thud bringing the rest of the sleepless city to its feet. We've seen the Santa Ana winds, but never at this magnitude. It moved cars and busted windows. It rattled fences and ripped gates apart. It knocked over trashcans and picked up patio furniture like it weighed nothing. In the morning when the dust settled just enough for the hazy sun to bring some light to the mayhem, w

Shut Up and Show It

"A Beautiful Mess" - Jason Mraz It's not something to be ashamed of. It's your body and you make it for what it is. If you see yourself as ugly, then that's what others will see. If you see yourself as too skinny, too chunky, too lengthy, too short, too pale, too dark, too disproportionate, then it's you who makes you ugly. Inside and out. And you know it. So look at you, all of you and portray the image that people have so desperately tried to show you. You're not exactly how you want to be nor how you want to look like and that's ok. But you're soft, natural, and in time you may be more than what you're giving yourself credit for. Don't stare in awe or glare in disgust. Just take a glance and be appreciative that you have two eyes that can see, a mouth that can speak, ears that can hear, a tongue that can taste, a nose that can smell and awesomely, amazing hair. Don't deny the privilege to say, "Thank you" when given a compl

Big Black Books

"Eyes on Fire" - Blue Foundation I'm going to do yet another something I've never done before. This is becoming a trend-setter for me, I know. I love feeling motivated no matter how small it may seem to others, because anything I haven't done is something huge to me. So, what is this new found goal I've set for myself? I'm going to read these four, famous, big, thick, black books in a row. Books with no pictures in them and not because I miss writing book reports. This is for me. I write what I want, remember? I just figured that since this is the year of doing NEW things and finding my so-called niche if you will, well hey a writer is supposed to read right? Alright, so let this writer take it seriously for a change. Let me expose myself to an accomplished piece of literature. Maybe you're wondering, "Why of all series to choose from, did she pick this?" To be honest, I didn't. But I have to admit, something happened mid-month that spar

Someday

"These Days" - Foo Fighters Oh Foo, my boo. Let's hope they hear you. Loud and clear. Hiding over there. They'll play you out I'm sure. When they too, realize there's no cure. But I heard it when I needed to and isn't that what music is supposed to do? To heal you? Well, this? All of this here? Helped relieved my sudden fear of trying again. And when I do? And they come back, dear Foo. I just won't be here for them. Lyrics: One of these days the ground will drop out from beneath your feet One of these days your heart will stop and play its final beat One of these days the clocks will stop and time won't mean a thing One of these days their bombs will drop and silence everything But it's alright Yeah it's alright I said it's alright Easy for you to say Your heart has never been broken Your pride has never been stolen Not yet not yet One of these days I bet your heart'll be broken I bet your pride'll be stolen I bet

Me Too

"The One That Got Away" - Katy Perry Ya, uh-huh, yup, sure, all right, ok, no prob, of course, you said it, totally, definitely, without a doubt, precisely, yep, exactly, fair enough, I'm with you, for real, obviously, agreed. We will always be the ones that got away. And I think we're better off this way too. Lyrics: Summer after high school when we first met We make out in your Mustang to Radiohead And on my 18th Birthday We got matching tattoos Used to steal your parents' liquor And climb to the roof Talk about our future Like we had a clue Never planned that one day I'd be losing you In another life I would be your girl We'd keep all our promises Be us against the world In another life I would make you stay So I don't have to say You were the one that got away The one that got away I was June and you were my Johnny Cash Never one without the other we made a pact Sometimes when I miss you I put those records on Someone said you had your tattoo rem

No Words

"It Will Rain" - Bruno Mars He sings like he's in so much pain; like someone is literally pulling his heart apart. But it's the haunting "ooh's" that makes this genuine. If only I could hear this song without words because these words no longer apply...because there are no words to describe the emptiness I still feel when the holidays roll by. One whole year. You're almost done. Please let me be done too. Lyrics: If you ever leave me, baby, Leave some morphine at my door Cuz it would take a whole lot of medication To realize what we used to have, We don't have it anymore. There's no religion that could save me No matter how long my knees are on the floor So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin' To keep you by my side To keep you from walkin' out the door. Cuz there'll be no sunlight If I lose you, baby There'll be no clear skies If I lose you, baby Just like the clouds My eyes will do the same, if you walk away

Most

"Flightless Bird American Mouth" - Iron & Wine I listen to this and think back to a time when love felt so real that even I had to sit back and wonder how this all could've happened to me. I think back not wanting it again, but being happy that I had the chance more than once in my life to love like this and be loved even more so in return. This is when I felt my most beautiful. This is what this song fills me with now that I don't feel anything at all. Lyrics: I was a quick-wit boy Diving too deep for coins All of your street light eyes Wide on my plastic toys Then when the cops closed the fair I cut my long baby hair Stole me a dog-eared map And called for you everywhere Have I found you? Flightless bird, jealous, weeping Or lost you? American mouth Big pill looming Now I'm a fat house cat Nursing my sore blunt tongue Watching the warm poison rats Curl through the wide fence cracks Pissing on magazine photos Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and cle

Funny, Interesting, Cool

"After Midnight" - Blink 182 You better "like" this cuz you'd be the only one that didn't like it and that'd be so, so, so sad. So just click on it. You know you want to. Give it the credit it deserves. Move that cursor. Go on now. I know you know what to do. Let the arrow guide you. It knows better. Much, much better than you. It knows its purpose is to show value to what matters most. I'm glad Blink's back. It didn't make sense that they had to break up because they were so good together. Their last album before this is intoxicating to me. Their music made perfect sense, but then they stopped listening to each other and f@$ked it all up. It took a tragedy (unfortunately) and a bit of common sense (fortunately) for them to realize that no matter what other side projects they had going on and no matter who they attempted to collaborate with, they only enjoyed minimal success. Never the status and range we've seen them reach in the past.

Right About Now

"Roslyn" - Bon Iver & St. Vincent You know what would be good right about now? A giant mug filled with chili top ramen noodles. I'd twirl the noodles with a fork and conveniently drink the broth when I'm done. I miss that right about now. Lyrics: Up with your turret Aren't we just terrified? Shale, screen your worry from what you won't ever find Don't let it fool you Don't let it fool you...down Dancing around, folds in her gown Sea and the rock below Cocked to the undertow Bones blood and teeth erode, with every crashing node Wings wouldn't help you Wings wouldn't help you...down Down fills the ground, gravity's proud You barely are blinking Wagging your face around When'd this just become a mortal home? Won't, won't, won't, won't Won't let you talk me Won't let you talk me…down Will pull it taut, nothing let out http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/newmoon/roslyn.htm Image

Morning Commute

"Clair De Lune" - Debussy When I'm stuck in traffic for 4-days straight, trying my best to stay awake as I slowly inch my way down the 110 to the 10, there's only so much I can do to keep my sanity. So, I studied all the cracks severed within the tired pavement and noticed more potholes winning against tires that should've been changed months ago. I figured that cars blocking the shoulder with their emergency lights glaring was the reason for the delay, but no. There's just too many damn cars attempting to reach the same place at the same time as I am. The beauty of a busy city during a morning commute is that there's a lot to see when you're not moving. The graffiti alone is spectacular or spectacularly messy. There is definitely a distinction between creative art and ridiculous tagging, but the amazing feat is just how the "artists" managed to get up there and not be seen. What made them want to spray paint this against such a big slab of c

Yes, You!

"You Are A Tourist" - Death Cab for Cutie Hey you! Yes, you. You're a ruined soul, you know but you're in there somewhere aren't you? I'm talking to your cracked heart and negative mind. Are they listening because you haven't been. You blocked me out you stubborn little thing. Are you seeing me wave at you from a near distance? I'm here sipping an upside down machiato to help soothe your draining energy from that anxiety it feels every time change is around the corner. Hey you! Yes, You. Your imperfections make you flawless. Your sadness makes you real. Is that why you're playing this role still? To help you feel? It's getting old and wearing you down. You're getting tired and there's nothing around to make you this tired that you can't bounce back from. It's not going to do it by itself. Not with you there thinking things evolve around you when it's you who should grab what makes you evolve. Hey you! Yes, you. Your lack of