A Bed of Songs & Stories

"Hurts Like Hell" - Aretha Franklin I hate you, playlist. I hate you right now. You should have this song, but what do you give me? 30 seconds of a really bad recording. Story of my life. Go figure. So, I turn to you, You Tube. You won't fail me. Well, at least you haven't yet. So thank you for this video. If my broken heart could sing, it would beat out Aretha. But she knows how to portray pain. It's slow, uncontrollable, and permanent. Just like my next love should be. Lyrics: Oh baby Ohhhhh Oh baby Ohhhhh Oh babe Love was always supposed to be Something wonderful to me To watch it grow inside yourself To feel your heart beside itself Sometimes it hurts to love so bad (When you know you've given all you can) Sometimes it hurts to even laugh (You do your best but it's still much too bad) Sometimes the pain is just too much And it hurts like hell That's the way it feels True love It has no hiding place It's not something you just put away ...

"By Your Side" - Beachwood Sparks I never noticed you before today, dear song. I love your original maker (Sade), but I'll take a chance to bring you to the forefront. You relax me. I'm surprised I didn't grab onto you earlier last summer, but I guess I was in a different world then. It started with a series of comic books. I never thought I could read through anything long enough for it to keep my attention and after Volumes I and II, I thought I would definitely lose interest. But I guess it's just like Alice said in her Wonderland, "How could one read a book with no pictures in it?" Well, they read comics. I'm glad I took a chance and kept reading because it felt good to be one of the ones who knew the inside scoop when the movie came out. I haven't been able to rewatch it since, but I think I'm ready to take it on again real soon. I'll just have to strap on a pair of roller skates and dye my hair first. So I guess I'll be seei...

"Buried Myself Alive" - The Used It's 2:04am. Dammit, so close to making my funky curfew. Ah, screw it. Just another day. I'll make it to bed soon enough. I wanted to listen to The Used for some reason. I have mixed feelings about this band. I guess like Jimmy Eat World, they are my in-between between break-ups and falling in love. I have no idea what the titles of any of their songs are, but I definitely know which side I was on at the time when I clicked on each track. Some would burn a hole through my chest. One of those long-lasting burns that make my heart melt. Some would make me giggle with glee like a little school girl with a cute crush. Either way, most of them made me feel some sorta sensation as I sat back and listened. It's kinda funny. I almost chose "On My Own," but when it started to play it nearly knocked me out of my seat. I can't believe it's not up here yet, but it's too damn depressing to tolerate at the moment. It...

"The Way You Like It" - Adema Wow, this one came out of nowhere. I can't even tell you what I'm thinking about. If I was still in my Broadcasting class I'd just create a montage to tell this story. All I know is at the time of this song I was trying to be something I wasn't, but it wasn't all fake. In doing so I found a passion for things I would never have tried otherwise. I did a lot of mom & pop interviews, visited hole-in-the wall venues, looked at "ugly" art, and got into the minds of artists whose work often didn't make sense to people. The real me would've been hesitant to dig deeper and look closer. The real me was better on paper than in person. But I couldn't be me if I wanted to get the context to fill these pages. And it was only the art I truly enjoyed and believed in that became my favorite pieces of work. As I sit here and reminisce about these wonderful moments of my life, one particular interview sprang to mind. I...

"Hey Man, Nice Shot" - Filter I'm in this dark place, but I like it here. It's obvious that I'm hardly happy, but I'm not a pathetic mess either. I'm a bit angry though. Don't worry it's not destructive, but the songs that are coming to mind are. I was on my way home listening to absolutely nothing on the radio. It felt like the rain wanted attention so I watched it pour down through the blurry windshield. All of sudden, like the road in front of me, my mind was suddenly flooding with music. Stuff I haven't heard in what feels like "another me" ago overflowed my brain. I dreaded forgetting this by the time I got home. It happened before and the Internet is worthless when it comes to igniting my memory from such a loss. Luckily, I wasn't driving. I didn't have a pen and paper in hand and I was too lazy to take out my phone. So I hummed and sang quietly to myself in hopes that a familiar tune and a few lyrics would keep these lo...

"Helena" - My Chemical Romance I will sleep before 2:00am. I will not think too much about these songs. I will pick one and just write. (Cough, sneeze, sniffle, uh-oh.) I will ignore it and keep going. I will find my sleep again. I will not let my stomach cramps keep me awake. I will allow my dreams to be dreams and let them go. (Thinking good thoughts.) I will do what my cousin advised me to do and pray for one good thing everyday. I will not pray for my own benefit, but for something that will benefit others. I will care about the world before I focus on my own world. (Sigh, breathe, squint, blink.) I will rub my eyes and keep writing. I will appreciate what I have vs. what I don't have. I will acknowledge that I have more than what I lack. I will accept that what I lack won't kill me. I will be ok with being just ok. (Signing the letters 'O' and 'K.') I will not look for what's not easy to look for. I will be happy with what's in front of me...

"Attack" - 30 Seconds to Mars Hey, I'm down for one more round as long as it's not complicated. Just give me some good french creamer with that coffee and let's go, friend. We can't handle more than that and the past knows too well what can happen in the future if we try. There's no surprises if we know what to expect: plenty of conversations, compilations and caffeine. Lyrics: I won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted Surrender to nothing, I'll give up what I Started and stop this, from end to beginning A new day is calling, and I am finalizing Fight Run away, run away, I'll attack Run away, run away, go chase yourself Run away, run away, now I'll attack I'll attack, I'll, whoa I would have kept you, forever, what we had to server It ended for both of us, faster than a Kill off this thinking, it's starting to sink in I'm losing control now, and without you I can finally see Fight Run away, run away, I'll attack Ru...

"Panic Switch" - Silversun Pickups I needed to switch it up. I started blogging 45-minutes ago and knew what I was writing wasn't going to make it on this site just yet. Plus, I couldn't even finish it. It was too deep even for me and it's not worth even the little attention I'm receiving. It took me to a dark place and I don't want to go back there. Not now. Not again. So, let's change the subject and trip on this song together shall we? It reminds me of the band Garbage mixed in with a bit of Hole and that whole era of grunge rock and females taking the lead! Hmmm... wait a minute, this ain't no lady, folks! It's a guy! I mean, if he was sportin' the Marilyn Manson look or at least dabbled on some liquid eyeliner and mascara then I'd probably be more willing to accept it. He's just an average, ordinary Joe with a short beard and shaggy hair. I can't help, but think of the guy from the movie Hangover holding a satchel. Weird...

"Falling Slowly" - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova I'm sitting over a pile of the last 10 years of my life. Old bills, paystubs, receipts, tax returns, print-outs and paperwork that no longer serve a purpose. They've been stuffed into olive green filing folders, crammed into a tiny drawer dying to be taken out, shredded and put to rest. I let them rot away because I just didn't have the energy to rummage through them. I figured if I didn't see it, I wouldn't have to deal with it. Well, it's time to clean house. I don't want to sweat the small stuff because it would obviously kill me and this isn't what a day off should be about. I'm going to sort through this quickly. I know which ones to immediately throw away. Anything with Beneficial, Capital One, and Coldwell Banker written on them must go. I can't stare at it anymore. I don't want to remember what that life was supposed to be and how it was taken from me so easily. Sigh, I j...

"What I Wouldn't Give" - Holly Brook (aka Skylar Grey) You can't go wrong with a girl and her piano. This song is exactly where I am right now. What are the odds that I run into such an amazing female artist and find a long, lost song over 5 years old that tells a story of the person I am today? Yesterday, I went to this cafe spot in Orange County. I hate driving, but for some strange reason I just had to be behind the wheel and drive. I drove up Allen Ave. to the 210 and couldn't help, but get distracted. The mountain tops were glazed with white snow. The skies were crisp blue with a few scattered clouds. The world looks so much better fresh after a rainstorm and I was so happy at that moment to have witnessed it. Off to the 605, down the 5, and passing one city after the next, I veered onto the 55 and kept on going. I wanted to be outside of my comfort zone and explore new grounds because I'm tired of the same old thing. I exited and pulled into a crowded pa...

"I Need A Doctor" - Eminem feat. Dr. Dre & Skylar Grey (aka Holly Brook) I hate award shows. But I watch. I watch it like a train wreck. It's terrible and excruciatingly painful, but I just can't help but sit back and watch anyway. I hate it even more when it's supposed to be about music and often times the artists get stage fright. They stumble, or try too hard, or don't even try at all and choose instead to lip sync and still manage to perform like utter and complete sh*t. This, however isn't one of those times. Rihanna came out at first to do "Love the Way You Lie" and although she was a bit shaky, it made me feel as though she was reflecting back to some unfortunate memories of her past. I could've sworn she made a 'C' with her right hand as if sending a subtle "F-You" to her ex Chris Brown. It would be awesome to know if this was her true intention. Eminem wasn't so subtle. I AM absolutely in love with his passi...

"Such Great Heights" - Postal Service If my happiness (as rare as it is) had a soundtrack, this would be the #1 song on its playlist. I have to smile when I hear it. No matter how terrible I feel, it will always put me in high spirits. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because I haven't attached any solid memory of anyone to it. Just me and my car. I first heard it while driving on one of the most dangerous freeways in Southern Calfornia, known as the good ol', unpredictable 110. The "beeps" in the intro grew louder as I was going through the underpass of an old, iron bridge. It caught my attention immediately and is now one of my favorite songs to keep me company on the road. On a mellow day when there's no traffic, hop in your car and drive the narrow strip from Pasadena to downtown, playing this song as loud as you can handle it. It goes with every curve, twist and turn. It's a rush, like a roller coaster ride, but you're in complete control....

"Run" - Snow Patrol I asked for a day like today. I asked for the cold, a little rain, a lot of clouds, and a simple hello. So ya, I needed a bit of a distraction to boot. I don't know if I'm making a mistake, but I guess that's what happens when I have too much time on my hands to do nothing, but think. And of course, with this comes reconnecting with the past. I almost thought they wouldn't let me. Almost. But I never left a bad mark on the very small few that I truly cared for so it wasn't too surprising to have a couple of them accept my subtle invitation in their own way. I promised to be inspired, didn't I? Well, this song did it. I wish I knew how to draw or paint a picture to post here because there are no words to describe what I see in my head as he sings. It's like smelling Stress Relief from Bath and Body Works or taking that first sip of a really good Vanilla Latte. It's like freshly-washed sheets or a hot shower after a long day....

4 words: 1) You 2) Hurt 3) Heart 4) Tired When you punch any of these words into the playlist search engine you will find songs you love, forgot about, hate with a passion, never in your life heard of before, and then before you know it, you're lost, in and over your head with 100+ pages of 1,000-some songs and 1 1/2 hours go by and you realize all you have is a headache, memories, and everything and nothing to blog about. I didn't want to write about what I'm thinking because it's no longer helping me. I'm tired of not being over it and I'm over being tired of it. So, you find a song for me and I'll be inspired by it tomorrow.

"Who Knew?" - Pink I knew. Lyrics: You took my hand, you showed me how You promised me you'd be around Uh huh, that's right I took your words and I believed In everything you said to me Yeah huh, that's right If someone said three years from now You'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out Cause they're all wrong I know better Cause you said forever And ever, who knew? Remember when we were such fools And so convinced and just too cool Oh no, no no I wish I could touch you again I wish I could still call you a friend I'd give anything When someone said count your blessings now For they're long gone I guess I just didn't know how I was all wrong But they knew better Still you said forever and ever Who knew? I'll keep you locked in my head Until we meet again Until we, until we meet again And I won't forget you my friend What happened? If someone said three years from now You'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them ou...

"Black Velvet" - Alannah Myles I gotta say this is one of those songs that just makes me feel like wearing leather, with my bangs teased up high, strapping on a hot pair of spiked heels and a laced corset. This is something I'm definitely not, but sometimes I wanna step outta my conservative shell and not care what anyone thinks. But...I don't want people to judge me as people often do. And I know you gotta wear this stuff with confidence if you wanna pull it off! So I tend to play it safe and hide behind my insecurities, but I'm bored with this. I see girls play the part when they go out so why can't I? Why do I dress like I have a meeting at the Corporate office and not allow myself to loosen up? I'm not talking too extreme, but it'd be awesome if I can step outside of my character and be something other than me. I just wanna get some attention for a change. I'm tired of being the good girl, holding everyone's car keys and babysitting their ...

"Fever" - Peggy Lee I could spend this day sad because this time I won't get a heart-shaped balloon. I could call in sick and stay home in bed like I did all weekend. I could ignore this damn Hallmark holiday and pretend it doesn't bug me just a little. I could, but nah. It's funny because it never was a big deal before. A dinner there, maybe a last-minute gift here, but the romance was somehow missing. I was always looking for that unexpected surprise, like a bouquet of tulips greeting me in the morning. But that only happened once. I guess it's better knowing for sure that nothing will happen vs. hoping for that certain something that just never quite repeated itself. This is why I chose a song that would gimme a bit more oomph! I crave this. Come to think of it, it ain't so bad being single because now I can go out and get it. I may not get balloons, flowers or chocolates, but at least I won't get disappointed expecting them either. Lyrics: N...

"Somewhere Only We Know" - Keane Watching a movie when I was in a relationship is a completely different feeling than watching the same movie being single. I experienced this first-hand late last night. I wanted to write about it right then regardless if it was 3 in the morning, but I was too emotionally exhausted. I needed the sleep and so I forced myself to stay in bed until noon today because it was definitely necessary. The movie is a cheesy romantic comedy called He's just NOT that into You starring everyone under the sun and Ginnifer Goodwin. It evolves around characters in various kinds of relationships (from casual dating the old-fashioned way to online meet and greets to a not-so-happy marriage leading into an affair, to a strong, unmarried couple and of course, dating someone who's just not that into you...). Initially, I didn't identify with this so I didn't fall for it, but I guess being with someone can do that to you. Now that I haven't bee...

"I Think We're Alone Now" - Tommy James & The Shondells I was driving home from an interesting lunch today when I stumbled upon this song on K-Earth 101. The version I'm familiar with was sang by Tiffany back in the early 80's. I had no idea it was a remake until now. I know I can be clueless. I should have known better than to think a teen pop star can write her own stuff, but I give her props for taking on a classic and giving it an 80's twist! It kinda trips me out now that I think about it because this band apparently did other great songs like "Crimson and Clover," but again I'm more familiar with the remake by Jimmy Eat World. Don't mistake me for someone who doesn't like oldies. I love and appreciate it very much. In fact, I used to listen to K-Earth a lot at my first job. Every day, all day as I made sandwiches and baked bread, I'd sing along to the Beatles, the Supremes, and the Beach Boys. I still have it programmed in m...

"In the Waiting Line" - Zero 7 This song reminds me of two very significant things in my life: (1) the movie Garden State and everything that happened during the beautiful spring of 2005 and (2) the Sex and the City series, specifically Season 6 (part 1) Episode 11 "The Domino Effect." This is difficult to write about, but I needed to mark this moment for myself. I'll call it, "Open, Close Heart." I guess you gotta know me (really know me) and watch both to understand what I mean. Lyrics: Wait in line 'Till your time Ticking clock Everyone stop Everyone's saying different things to me Different things to me Everyone's saying different things to me Different things to me Do you believe In what you see There doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me Do you believe In what you see Motionless wheel Nothing is real Wasting my time In the waiting line Do you believe in What you see Nine to five Living lies Everyday Stealing tim...

"Strong Enough" - Sheryl Crow I cheated again. The original song I had in my head was actually "Dyer Maker" by Led Zeppelin, but of course the only version on playlist cuts off at about 4 minutes so there goes that (Ay, playlist how I wish I had the patience and wisdom enough to control you)! It bugs me a bit because I've been trying to figure out this song since yesterday. There I was strolling through Urban Outfitters when the familiar "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...you don't have to go...oh, oh, oh, oh" starts to play, but it was a girl singing so it threw me off completely! And now that I know what it is, not only can't I find the one I heard, but I can't even get the band's original song in its entirety! So what brought on Sheryl Crow? Well, I was a little perturbed about the whole thing as you can imagine and Googled a few possible remakes. Apparently, Sheryl did one (but of course it too wasn't available). I was at a loss. I needed ...

"Part of Your World" - Jodi Benson (Ariel in Disney's The Little Mermaid) Twenty-two years ago I was just a kid watching this awe-inspiring Disney animated film up on the big screen. I immediately fell in love with this bright-eyed, red-headed mermaid and her magnificent voice, so much so that I hummed this one significant line over and over again all the way home. Once this was released, my wonderful dad bought it for his 3 anxiously-awaiting daughters. Back then it took months before a movie came out, on VHS no less! It was limited and pricey, but we made it worth every penny. One hot summer, we spent every night on the living room floor with the AC on full blast, sprawled out in front of the TV just watching and re-watching The Little Mermaid until we could remember every single line by heart. We played this so much that the ribbon started to wear itself out! At one point, we had to give it a rest before the whole tape withered away completely! I love this memory with...

"Caught A Lite Sneeze" - Tori Amos This was before the glitz and glamour when Tori was just Tori with a twist. I needed to hear a bit of it before I attempt to sleep tonight. This is just in case I don't make it back tomorrow before the clock strikes midnight and I turn into a pumpkin. Lyrics: caught a lite sneeze caught a lite breeze caught a lightweight lightning seed boys on my left side boys on my right side boys in the middle and you're not here i need a big loan from the girl zone building tumbling down didn't know our love was so small couldn't stand at all Mr. st. john just bring your son the spire is hot and my cells can't feed and you still got that belle dragging your foots i'm hiding it well sister Ernestine but i still got that belle dragging my foots right on time you get closer and closer called my name but there's no way in use that fame rent your wife and kids today maybe she will maybe she will caught a lite sneeze dreamed a littl...

"Sleep to Dream" - Fiona Apple I am everything you want, but you are nothing I need. Lyrics: I tell you how I feel But you don't care I say tell me the truth But you don't dare You say love is a hell You cannot bear And I say gimme mine back And then go there For all I care I got my feet On the ground And I don't go to Sleep to dream You got your head In the clouds And you're not at All what you seem This mind, this body And this voice cannot be Stifled by your deviant ways So don't forget what I told you Don't come around I got my own hell to raise I have never been So insulted in all my life I could swallow the seas To wash down all this pride First you run like a fool Just to be at my side And now you run like a fool But you just run to hide And I can't abide I got my feet On the ground And I don't go To sleep to dream You got your head In the clouds and You're not at all What you seem This mind, this body And this voice cannot be Stifl...

"B*tch" - Meredith Brooks I'm not going to settle anymore. I know some say that women my age really don't have the luxury to wait, but I don't want to be stupid enough to rush back into something I know won't do anything for me (no matter how good some of it is). My biological clock will probably never start to tick and that's alright by me. I'm accepting the fact that because I grew up too fast, I now want to slow things down. If that makes me a selfish b*tch, then I embrace it. I've done my fair share of taking care of others. I won't be naive to think that by giving, I'll receive more. I know now that to give just means someone took from me what they couldn't do for themselves. And if you're not my immediate, than the answer is "No." I don't need to apologize for being difficult because to me this is what I should've done twice before. I should've said, "Take care of yourself before you even a...

"Heads Carolina, Tails California" - Jo Dee Mesina Hey bff, I think we need a new song to add to our friendship playlist, but it has to be something that'll give us more pep to our step. I miss you more than words can say love, but I just don't want to mope around about it. Sadness is tiring. I know you're happy there and I'm pretty good here. So for now it is a coin toss and honey, this one's for you. Lyrics: Baby, what do you say we just get lost Leave this one horse town like two rebels without a cause I've got people in Boston, Ain't your Daddy still in Des Moines? We can pack up tomorrow, tonight let's flip a coin Heads Carolina, tails California Somewhere greener, somewhere warmer Up in the mountains, down by the ocean Where, it don't matter as long as we're going Somewhere together, I've got a quarter Heads Carolina, tails California We can throw what we own in the back of a U-Haul van A couple modern day Moses, searching for...